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A school essay on Christmas

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Joel Rai
Last Updated : Dec 20 2014 | 12:19 AM IST
It was a cold winter day in Bethlehem two thousand years ago. The shepherds were on the hills with their sheep. The sky suddenly lit up and a host of angels appeared singing praises to a newborn who would one day show the world what good governance was. The shepherds rushed to the gaushala where the heavenly chorus line had indicated they would find a baby who would become the saviour of the world. Indeed, the shepherds found the baby wrapped in saffron clothes, smiling among the milch animals. The father had brought the mother to Bethlehem all the way from Gwalior, where he worked as a school teacher complementing his income with poetry reading. They had found no place in any dharmashala in the little town and had been forced to find shelter among the cows in the gaushala.

The growing baby showed extraordinary intelligence. He was always questioning his parents, emphasising his queries with a peculiar mannerism of closing his eyes for a few seconds as if he had suddenly fallen asleep. One day, the parents found the little boy missing at home. They searched high and low, until some pracharaks came and told them that they were indeed blessed to have such a son. They told the parents to go the Banaras Hindu University where the boy, not yet 12 years old, was holding his own in a debate with ideologues. They pulled the youngster away from the group, admonishing him and telling him that his time hadn't come yet.

The boy grew up and became a great orator, mesmerising the people with his parables, and endearing himself to them with his peculiar ocular mannerism. He also studied law and married at the age of 16. As the father of five sons and five daughters, he became the Congress president, but later he felt he should dedicate his life and time to the removal of caste barriers. He ceased practising law and was pleased when the folks decided to put up his statue in Varanasi.

And, as the angels had promised, he became a pracharak, out to give the people the good news. He told the masses who followed him of how even if one soul was lost to some other religion, there was great sorrow in heaven. Equally, if there was a ghar wapsi of such lost souls, there was great rejoicing. He explained this great concept through the simple story of the Prodigal Son. One of his greatest speeches, where he talked of the poor inheriting the earth (because the rich had already grabbed the telecom spectrum as well as the coal mines) has gone down in history as The Sermon on Mount Raisina.

"Aar paar ka ladai karenge," he said of his peace proposals. After all, he was destined to talk of peace because at his birth in Bethlehem, the angels had announced "Peace on earth and goodwill towards men". Who is my neighbour, he once asked, and he answered through the story of the Good Samaritan. And then to ensure that he didn't have to turn the other cheek if the neighbour slapped him on one, he exploded five nuclear bombs in the desert.

The Emergency came and they arrested him and brought him before the religiously political leaders, who pronounced him guilty. But three days later, metaphorically, he rose again from the dead, metaphorically, eventually reaching the top of Mount Raisina. Christmas, thus, rightly celebrates the day of Good Governance.

(Note to class teacher: Dear Ma'am, please forgive me if I have got some facts mixed up in this essay. Between Jesus Christ, Atal Bihari Vajpayee and Madan Mohan Malaviya, I got their biographies all jumbled up. Your student.)
Free Run is a fortnightly look at alternate realities joel.rai@bsmail.in

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First Published: Dec 20 2014 | 12:19 AM IST

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