Clones and Kandies

TELLY VISION

Boo! (I stick my tongue out, make a Calvin-inspired face while flapping my hands crazily.) That's how scared I was after watching Fear Factor on Sony television for precisely five minutes. It is a show where people share bathtubs with worms, stick their face into plates of squiggly, ugly, sticky, shiny reptiles and basically do strange things in the name of "adventure".

Our suggestion: Call the programme "Ugh Factor". Okay, to be fair, when you catch host Mukul Dev's deadpan expression and his bronze-tinted mop of hair, the title does seem appropriate.

My telly's "fear factor" has shot up ever since its screen space got claustrophobic, having to display the long, dreary names of serials. I almost had to hold my breath when the telly asked me to check out the name of the new show on Star Plus.

"It's called, Pyaar Ke Do Naam, Ek Radha, Ek Shyam," I yelped, while reaching for the nearest bottle of water.

Next, we'll hear of serial makers naming their serials, "Kyunki In Every Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kee There Is Always A Saas Who Was Once A Bahu".

So very, what should we say, "LS types" as Archana Puran Singh calls it in her new programme Kandy Floss. Okay, for those of you who still haven't learnt the new Ekta Kapoor lingo, "LS types" stands for "low society types."

I'll explain it better; Kapoor darling's new show Kandy Floss, "very HS or high society types" (read: cool, with it etc), Kapoor's Kyunki...fare, "very, very LS" (you must have guessed this by now). Musician Himesh Reshammiya on every music chart, "very HS", but, Himesh's nasal voice, his fashion style with his glued-on-24x7-cap and leather pants in peak summer, "Ouch, LS, no, MS, or, Main bhi hoon society (loosely translated, wannabe types).

Speaking of Sony television, Indian Idol 2 is drawing " thankfully " to a close. The level of singing was spectacularly bad this year and I was certain I saw playback singer and judge Sonu Nigam collapsing in his chair while listening to some of the contestants.

Simi Garewal could collapse similarly (okay, a little more stylishly) and give a Page 3 screech if she ever saw her own show's cloning on MTV called Simi Girebaal.

Anchored by VJ Cyrus Sahukar, who is deliciously funny, this is a fabulous dig at Garewal's prim-n-propah show. The best part, it is shown every Sunday at 9.30 pm, the same time when the original goes on air on Star World.

So, next time, grab the remote, keep flipping from the original to the cloned version. Have fun!