Last week, the kidnapping and brutal rape of a five-year-old girl in east Delhi shocked the nation and brought the issue of child safety into public focus once again. With an increasing number of joint families giving way to nuclear ones, and technology and the Internet opening doors to many a menace, there are several unsafe points of contact between your child and a stranger:
Neighbourhood parks
If your child steps out to play in the nearby playgrounds, ensure that he or she is accompanied by a trustworthy adult - for instance, a grandparent, an older sibling or a caretaker who has been with the family for long. If you spot an unidentified vehicle which is frequently parked near the playground, raise an alarm and call for help. While you might feel safe living in gated communities of Gurgaon and Noida, education consultant Reeta Passi says, "remember that the security guards, watchmen and parking attendants change with great frequency and you cannot trust anyone." Passi adds that these guards know the routines of the parents and the children. Danger arises when kids are allowed to communicate with new guards or domestic help without adult supervision.
Tuition centres and coaching institutes
With children turning to tutorials after school at the age of eight years and older, parents must be wary of the area where the coaching institute is located. The walk to a tuition centre often includes a dark or stranded alley where danger lurks - if a stranger keeps track of your child's tuition timings, he or she becomes aware of the child's daily routine and this helps him establish a rapport with the child by means of idle chatter. Also choose an established institute that has been running for years. If you feel more comfortable with a personal tutor, ensure the classes happen in an open environment where an adult can keep an eye on the goings-on.
Home
Today, most households are run with more than three kinds of domestic help - a cleaning lady, a cook and another person to do the daily washing. And in some cases, there is a fourth attendant - a nanny or caretaker for the child. With 'maid agencies' transporting domestic help from Jharkhand, West Bengal and Bihar to metros without running extensive checks on their background, it is extremely dangerous to leave your child alone in the company of the caretaker. When the child is home during long periods - summer vacations, exam prep leaves, winter break - it is a bad idea to let him or her open doors for the garbage man or dhobi, unless there is an adult present at home.
The Internet
With most children having access to a personal computer, a laptop or even a tablet as early as at the age of seven years, the menace of cyber crimes looms larger than ever. While peer pressure might drive them to set up an email account, a Facebook account as well as a Twitter account while they are still adolescents, children are not psychologically-equipped to shield themselves against unpleasant advances from strangers or ward off cyber-bullying. Instances of cyber bullying are seen in everyday social media interactions - this includes denigration, harassment, outing secrets on a public platform, intentional exclusion and cyber stalking. If your child is uploading images on the Internet, these could land in the hands of someone with wrong intentions. Moreover, with online chat rooms and dating rooms having a poor excuse for an age barrier (which can easily be overstepped by creating a new email ID), your child is vulnerable to a host of potential cyber crimes.
Schools
Often, perpetrators track school timings and familiarise themselves with a child's daily routine and lure them in with candy or videogames outside schools. Teachers, at times, allow the child to be picked up after school by a "family friend" without prior notification from the parents.
Residential areas near displacement colonies
According to Rakesh Senger, an activist with Bachpan Bachao Andolan, an NGO, the most troublesome source of concern for parents is when their child comes in regular contact with migratory labour living in displacement colonies near their communities. He points to the examples of Madanpur Khadar, Sangam Vihar and Jahangirpuri in Delhi, which have recorded a high rate of crimes against children. The situation worsens when children are sent to neighbourhood markets to run errands. "Many of these deviants roam around in vans and bikes," says Senger. "With absence of police parolling outside gated communities, children are easily picked up," he warns.
Relatives' or family friend's homes
According to a report by Unicef India, while girls are more exposed to sexual abuse than boys, yet this does not mean that boys aren't subject to sexual violence. In many cases, the perpetrator is a relative known to the family, who develops a familiarity with the child over time. The consequences of sexual abuse of boys and girls can be severe, and include psychological and emotional consequences such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, and even trigger off suicidal notions. "If the relative is unknown to you, you have no business leaving the child alone with him even for a minute," says Passi. In some cases, when children have a Blackberry, they add much older friends of the family on instant messenger or BlackBerry Messenger. What begins with "harmless", inappropriate jokes can lead to conversations that mislead and traumatise the child.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Neighbourhood parks
If your child steps out to play in the nearby playgrounds, ensure that he or she is accompanied by a trustworthy adult - for instance, a grandparent, an older sibling or a caretaker who has been with the family for long. If you spot an unidentified vehicle which is frequently parked near the playground, raise an alarm and call for help. While you might feel safe living in gated communities of Gurgaon and Noida, education consultant Reeta Passi says, "remember that the security guards, watchmen and parking attendants change with great frequency and you cannot trust anyone." Passi adds that these guards know the routines of the parents and the children. Danger arises when kids are allowed to communicate with new guards or domestic help without adult supervision.
Tuition centres and coaching institutes
More From This Section
Home
Today, most households are run with more than three kinds of domestic help - a cleaning lady, a cook and another person to do the daily washing. And in some cases, there is a fourth attendant - a nanny or caretaker for the child. With 'maid agencies' transporting domestic help from Jharkhand, West Bengal and Bihar to metros without running extensive checks on their background, it is extremely dangerous to leave your child alone in the company of the caretaker. When the child is home during long periods - summer vacations, exam prep leaves, winter break - it is a bad idea to let him or her open doors for the garbage man or dhobi, unless there is an adult present at home.
The Internet
With most children having access to a personal computer, a laptop or even a tablet as early as at the age of seven years, the menace of cyber crimes looms larger than ever. While peer pressure might drive them to set up an email account, a Facebook account as well as a Twitter account while they are still adolescents, children are not psychologically-equipped to shield themselves against unpleasant advances from strangers or ward off cyber-bullying. Instances of cyber bullying are seen in everyday social media interactions - this includes denigration, harassment, outing secrets on a public platform, intentional exclusion and cyber stalking. If your child is uploading images on the Internet, these could land in the hands of someone with wrong intentions. Moreover, with online chat rooms and dating rooms having a poor excuse for an age barrier (which can easily be overstepped by creating a new email ID), your child is vulnerable to a host of potential cyber crimes.
Schools
Often, perpetrators track school timings and familiarise themselves with a child's daily routine and lure them in with candy or videogames outside schools. Teachers, at times, allow the child to be picked up after school by a "family friend" without prior notification from the parents.
Residential areas near displacement colonies
According to Rakesh Senger, an activist with Bachpan Bachao Andolan, an NGO, the most troublesome source of concern for parents is when their child comes in regular contact with migratory labour living in displacement colonies near their communities. He points to the examples of Madanpur Khadar, Sangam Vihar and Jahangirpuri in Delhi, which have recorded a high rate of crimes against children. The situation worsens when children are sent to neighbourhood markets to run errands. "Many of these deviants roam around in vans and bikes," says Senger. "With absence of police parolling outside gated communities, children are easily picked up," he warns.
Relatives' or family friend's homes
According to a report by Unicef India, while girls are more exposed to sexual abuse than boys, yet this does not mean that boys aren't subject to sexual violence. In many cases, the perpetrator is a relative known to the family, who develops a familiarity with the child over time. The consequences of sexual abuse of boys and girls can be severe, and include psychological and emotional consequences such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, and even trigger off suicidal notions. "If the relative is unknown to you, you have no business leaving the child alone with him even for a minute," says Passi. In some cases, when children have a Blackberry, they add much older friends of the family on instant messenger or BlackBerry Messenger. What begins with "harmless", inappropriate jokes can lead to conversations that mislead and traumatise the child.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
- Parents must establish an open dialogue with children and drill it into their minds that nobody should touch them in their private parts, except for parents and doctors
- In case you are leaving your child alone with a caretaker, notify neighbours to keep an eye on the child in case of any trouble. You can install nanny cams in secret places to know what happens in the house in your absence or talk regularly to your child on webcam during the day.
- Monitor your child's Internet usage, create a common password so you can track all mail, have regular conversations about his/her online image. Download Norton's privacy controls at onlinefamily. Norton.Com, which blocks inappropriate sites and guards the child's social networking activities
- In gated communities, elderly folks can use a rotation system to keep a watchful eye on children playing in the parks in the evening
- Teachers and parents should be alert to detect symptoms of abuse (lack of concentration, depression, aggressiveness, sexual behaviour, frequent use of toilets, touching of private parts)
- Teachers should check with parents before letting the child leave school with a relative or family friend