Justice League is like a bad dream playing in the mind of a teenager

The movie reduces superheroes to toy action figures, offering little insight into their legendary characters

Lonesome superheroes are waiting for a call to arms. The old guard is laying low after a series of herculean battles, and the new ones are too naïve to employ their special abilities. Psychotic tricksters are in asylums, mercenaries are dead and lowlife mobsters are behind bars. Even the nuclear weapons are safe. Too many demigods descended upon our planet have little to do. Before it gets too dull, you either create new enemies or imagine one. Zack Snyder’s Justice League is like a bad dream playing in the mind of a teenager.

Mother Earth has been invaded, again. A destroyer of the worlds called Steppenwolf has woken up from a slumber of centuries. The planet could crumble and fall, but it doesn’t. Humanity could plunge into indefinite darkness, but it doesn’t. There’s moderate destruction, but human lives are spared — although some die in a far-off world of Amazonians.

The defenders are, of course, a predictable team of misfits. There’s a brooding “protector of the oceans” Aquaman (Jason Momoa) with childhood issues, and without a purpose. He brings fish to the poor on a secluded island, saves the occasional seaman caught in high tide and, well, drinks whisky out of the bottle. A teenaged Flash (Ezra Miller) is studying criminal law because he’s too civil a superhero to otherwise free his wrongly convicted father. His character bears an unabashed resemblance to the young Spiderman of Captain America: Civil War: poor, geeky, socially awkward, the works. And then there’s Cyborg, a modern Terminator — assembled from alien metals — awfully upset about his evolving abilities. In fact, he seems more worried about his looks. There isn’t much to say about the feminist torchbearer, Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), who’s second in command after the ageing recruiter Batman (Ben Affleck), Gotham’s richest and most sacrificing human who’s the natural leader.

The characterisation is a colossal waste of promising new talent. The much-hyped role of Jason Momoa as Aquaman plays out as a sidekick. His control of the oceans goes unutilised and he only relies on his muscles and his pitchfork of a weapon. What could have explored a new sphere, a superhero who commands the waters, is completely without depth. He best delivers a hilarious monologue forced by Wonder Woman’s Lazzo of Truth. So much for the brooding. The comic one-liners delivered by Miller as Flash are so off-timed that it kills the little originality that the character had to offer. Their superhero origin movies, if made, will have to reinvent the characters completely.

The scripting spoiled what could have been little moments of glory. Superman’s (Henry Cavill) return from the dead is a throwaway, and his consequential burst of anger is a rushed scene. In fact, it had great scope for twisting the storyline towards a mature and profound confrontation of powers that had somewhat lifted Batman vs Superman: The Dawn of Justice.

Fans of DC Comics’ extended universe won’t miss it. Despite the brittle storyline, there’s incentive to watch it. The action sequences, tailor-made for 3D and IMAX, are a spectacle. The special effects are created with marvellous detailing that is, by far, the best DC and Warner Bros have produced. 

“Everybody knows”, created by Canadian songwriter Leonard Cohen and sung by Norwegian singer Sigrid, gives a seamless transition from the mourning of Superman’s death in Dawn of Justice to the breeding lawlessness of Justice League’s opening scenes. The rest of the music blends in perfectly as the story progresses.

Gods don’t die. But Justice League neither humanises them through colossal challenges and suffering, nor does it elevate them though selfless acts of heroism. Despite the bromance and the admiring of the woman lead, the film fails to produce an A-team. When catching bullets and fighting demons becomes a reflex, superhero tales must be reinvented, not retold. 

Some stories are best left for the comics.