My travel resolutions

PERIPATETIC

I've never been one to fall prey to that insidious game of self-castigation "" resolution-making. You start off by swearing off those chocolate truffles, then realise you're host to another vice and another and another.

Before you can say "Good grief Godfrey", you're left with a glut of remorseful resolutions that make you feel like Little Miss Naughty and a waning urge to carry them out.

This year though, in the spirit of compliance, I've decided to draw up a list of travel resolutions given that I love travelling so much (besides it is far simpler than giving up smoking). Never mind that I will probably never re-visit them post January 15.

1. Allow yourself the pleasure of chastising parents when their shrieking child kicks the back of your airplane seat for the tenth time in 15 minutes.

2. Never allow yourself to enter into a conversation with a young man whose airport reading material of choice is "How to seduce a woman in fifty seconds."

3. Sign up on freeloaders.com, a travel community, that allows free access to other members' homes when you're visiting their town. The small print? You must reciprocate.

4. Contribute to, and benefit from the Lonely Planet blue list, comprehensive listings that actually draw from unique travel experiences and discoveries of independent travellers. From the city with the worst taxi rides to the best gay film festivals in the world, the listings are sometimes bizarre but mostly useful.

5. Make friends in countries before I even get there. Membership of Where Are You Now (wayn.com) allows you to meet other travellers who have similar itineraries, keep a log of your travels and keep your friends updated as to your whereabouts.

6. Learn how to communicate with locals in a foreign land, or at least learn how to say the following three phrases: "Where can I get me a beer?", "Where's the nearest bakery that sells cupcakes" and "Please tell me you speak English".

7. Get someone else to pack your bag for you, just so that when, at the check-in counter, they ask you if you packed your own bag, you can say "No", confound the quizzer and proceed to fend off suspicious questions.

8. Duplicate all important records that you carry with you, buy medical insurance even if it isn't mandatory and keep stock of all mile earning programmes (thereafter plan a holiday around these).