 "Queer love, shepherded")
Matrimonial advertisements have for long been the stock of good laughs, but when Padma Iyer placed one last year to find a prospective partner for her Mumbai-based son, it created ripples that spilled way beyond the realm of classifieds. Under the tell-tale image of two interlinked wedding rings, Iyer had posted her requirement for an animal-loving, vegetarian groom for her son, Harrish.
But with Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code hovering heavy over the LGBTQ community in India, a same-sex marriage cannot see the light of day in the country, a realisation that led a father-son NRI duo to set up a bureau specifically to cater to the gay population.
Called Arranged Gay Marriage (AGM) and headquatered in Chicago, the service has received over 700 applicants since it opened last November. A substantial chunk of this figure - 400 individuals - are Indians.
In the eight years that Joshua Samson and his father, Benhur, provided surrogacy services to a clientele that was 95 per cent from the LGBTQ community, they came across many instances where individuals welcomed the idea of same-sex arranged matrimonies. With about 50 per cent of marriages ending up in divorce in the US, arranged marriages are becoming more than just an "intriguing" concept, says Joshua Samson, CEO at AGM.
Having India's openly gay ex-prince Manvendra Singh Gohil as their brand ambassador has also worked greatly in their favour, says Samson. Gohil, the prince of Rajpipla in Gujarat, came out to his parents in 2002, years after his divorce in 1992.
"Gohil has become an icon for India's gay population, and after the US passed legislation recognising same-sex marriages last year, we realised we could essentially open up a highway to connect people on a global basis," says Samson.
While a majority of their clients don't have support from their families, Samson has had cousins and siblings of the prospective client approaching them. "These clients are from India, Dubai and Turkey primarily because coming out is more 'hidden' on the eastern side. I've spoken to parents and I see them getting involved to see what their child is doing. There are a lot of mixed emotions that we see," he says. When adults are ready to look beyond Grindr (a homosexual equivalent of the now-sanskari Tinder for the heterosexual lot), families standing by their choices serve as cornerstones for happily-ever-after tales.
When his mother put out the matrimonial ad, Harrish Iyer shares how she had the same concerns as any traditional parent. "She was concerned about me being single and alone in my old age, the only difference here was that her child was a man looking for a man," says Harrish.
In an evocative post in The Toast last year, a version of which was featured on Quartz India, Detroit-based Rohin Guha wrote about how Indian matchmaking sites such as Bharat Matrimony and Shaadi.com, unlike their American counterparts, don't let men seek out male matches, or women seek out female matches.
In Guha's world, his parents are his cheerleaders. "That is why their input is important to me in a decision like this. At the end of the day, if I haven't found a match for myself after a decade of dating, I'd be curious to see what my parents who have raised me and in many ways, know me better than I know myself, may come up with," says Guha, an editor at an online magazine called The Aerogram.
While family support is of great significance, the first priority is to know the client well. "We find that some come to us with the wrong intentions - of obtaining citizenship in another countries. But of course, this isn't a problem just with gay marriages, the same issue lies with heterosexual marriages," says Samson.
Since many countries now recognise same-sex marriages, and it is becoming more of "normal", Samson reiterates on background checks being an integral part of the screening process. As part of the process to gauge a client's "true intentions," the service charges a hefty (refundable) fee of $5,000.
People may have some very hard-lined views about how this portal is commercialising marriage, says Harrish. "But I think it does no harm if people are willing to pay for it and they are going ahead with good intent. Why should we expect people to do this for free as a service to humanity?"
Samson shies from sharing specific figures of the matches made since the service hasn't reached its one-year mark, "we'll need at least 12 months to perfect matches."
But with Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code hovering heavy over the LGBTQ community in India, a same-sex marriage cannot see the light of day in the country, a realisation that led a father-son NRI duo to set up a bureau specifically to cater to the gay population.
Called Arranged Gay Marriage (AGM) and headquatered in Chicago, the service has received over 700 applicants since it opened last November. A substantial chunk of this figure - 400 individuals - are Indians.
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Having India's openly gay ex-prince Manvendra Singh Gohil as their brand ambassador has also worked greatly in their favour, says Samson. Gohil, the prince of Rajpipla in Gujarat, came out to his parents in 2002, years after his divorce in 1992.
"Gohil has become an icon for India's gay population, and after the US passed legislation recognising same-sex marriages last year, we realised we could essentially open up a highway to connect people on a global basis," says Samson.
While a majority of their clients don't have support from their families, Samson has had cousins and siblings of the prospective client approaching them. "These clients are from India, Dubai and Turkey primarily because coming out is more 'hidden' on the eastern side. I've spoken to parents and I see them getting involved to see what their child is doing. There are a lot of mixed emotions that we see," he says. When adults are ready to look beyond Grindr (a homosexual equivalent of the now-sanskari Tinder for the heterosexual lot), families standing by their choices serve as cornerstones for happily-ever-after tales.
When his mother put out the matrimonial ad, Harrish Iyer shares how she had the same concerns as any traditional parent. "She was concerned about me being single and alone in my old age, the only difference here was that her child was a man looking for a man," says Harrish.
In an evocative post in The Toast last year, a version of which was featured on Quartz India, Detroit-based Rohin Guha wrote about how Indian matchmaking sites such as Bharat Matrimony and Shaadi.com, unlike their American counterparts, don't let men seek out male matches, or women seek out female matches.
In Guha's world, his parents are his cheerleaders. "That is why their input is important to me in a decision like this. At the end of the day, if I haven't found a match for myself after a decade of dating, I'd be curious to see what my parents who have raised me and in many ways, know me better than I know myself, may come up with," says Guha, an editor at an online magazine called The Aerogram.
While family support is of great significance, the first priority is to know the client well. "We find that some come to us with the wrong intentions - of obtaining citizenship in another countries. But of course, this isn't a problem just with gay marriages, the same issue lies with heterosexual marriages," says Samson.
Since many countries now recognise same-sex marriages, and it is becoming more of "normal", Samson reiterates on background checks being an integral part of the screening process. As part of the process to gauge a client's "true intentions," the service charges a hefty (refundable) fee of $5,000.
People may have some very hard-lined views about how this portal is commercialising marriage, says Harrish. "But I think it does no harm if people are willing to pay for it and they are going ahead with good intent. Why should we expect people to do this for free as a service to humanity?"
Samson shies from sharing specific figures of the matches made since the service hasn't reached its one-year mark, "we'll need at least 12 months to perfect matches."