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Berlin's got history in capitals. Munich has the Oktoberfest which involves fat men drinking a lot of beer. Frankfurt? After three visits spanning ten years, I am certain that God created Frankfurt to prove that even he can go wrong. What else would explain a city that takes credit for giving its name to a silly snack that involves a sausage thrust into a loaf of bread?

Alright, it is the financial capital of the European Union, but hey, I come from Mumbai and it has dance bars. At least it had. Yet, every alternate year, Frankfurt hosts a motor show so big there is no reason for it to be called IAA "" which incidentally is an abbreviation for something very unpronounceable and German. For me, it was, is and shall remain the Frankfurt International Motor show. And guess what, it usually rocks. Come along.

After taking off at an insane 2.45 am, eight hours on the Lufthansa 747-400 were spent either passed out or searching for the earphone socket. We were frisked away to the suburban town of Mainz since every possible hotel room was booked a year in advance. Which was not a bad thing, since Mainz is by the river Rhine and is a beautiful place to be.

We left early for the Frankfurt Messe next day, since some of us had to collect our motor show passes. I wore my only blazer and a tie to enhance the sense of occasion. Actually, the truth is, like most motoring journalists, I hope I will bump into the Volkswagen chief at Frankfurt who would offer me the plum job of group vice-president-communications. In case you didn't know, VW owns amongst other things Lamborghini and Bugatti.

This year, the show theme was Faszination Auto "" whatever that meant. As for me, I had to cover a total of ten halls spread over a good distance in two-and-half days. It may sound easy, but when you have to collect English press kits and photo CDs from each and every one of the 1,000 firms representing 44 countries "" okay, make it 100 firms, still "" it's a tough task.

Four years back, BMW stopped giving out press kits and requested journalists to download stuff from their media website, which was actually good enough. But there is something about the touch, feel and smell of glossy literature that makes even old hacks sprint and pant between pavilions.

As it turned out, Day One was just a preview day "" that meant some pavilions were still being built and some cars were under cover. Even worse, after covering enough ground to make a football court, I had to return empty-handed since the press kits were not ready. But Audi was all set to celebrate their first ever SUV.

The Q7 press conference was massive and was attended by 800 scribes. I stood rather proudly at the 47th row and saw smoke, heard speeches and a live singer and concluded that the Q7 was launched.

Audi also launched a hybrid concept in case someone was wondering what the big and fast SUV would feed on as and when a barrel of crude crosses the US $100 mark.

The rest of the VW empire was next door "" that meant VW itself, who premiered the Eos, a convertible for those who can't afford Porsche Boxsters, Seat who showed off their sporty minivans, Skoda who celebrated 100 years with a hot-pant clad model and a variant of the Yeti mini-SUV concept, Bentley, who debuted the Azure convertible, and of course, Lamborghini, who had the magnificent Gallardo Spyder.

I spent considerable time at the Lamborghini turntable and even managed to sit inside a Murcielago "" the baddest amongst supercars. Black floors, mirrors on the ceiling and a full car mounted on the wall made it all look demonic, but perfectly contrasting were the brilliant white Lamborghinis with angelic models, again wearing white, sprawled all over them. Awesome.

Seat, the Spanish car maker, lures journalists to their pavilion by offering a trolley bag which comes handy "" I decided to utilise the option and soon was strolling around with a wide-track trolley that managed to get stuck on plush carpeting and hit my right leg with alarming regularity. Nice.

I traced my way back and soon got lost in Hall 2, that housed the DaimlerChrysler empire. DC makes it a point to put up an impressive show every year, and this time, they had good reason in the form of a brand new S-Class "" the last word when it comes to CEO/king/dictator mobiles.

Dieter Zetsche, the DC chairman in the wings, looked a bit worried since the S-Class is laden with electronics and he wouldn't want a repeat of the recall that marred the image of Mercedes around the world last year. The uber S-Class launch was fantastic and I managed to get a pin that celebrated the occasion.

Smart, the loss-making small car arm of DC put up a brave front and had a crossover concept on show "" no, it didn't look promising enough. Actually, it looked like a scaled-up version of my little daughter's plastic toy. The luxury brand Maybach showcased the stretched version of their ultra-luxury barge, the Maybach 57S.

Alas, it was overshadowed by a pristine example of the original Maybach Zeppelin from the 1930s and a phenomenally aerodynamic concept car from Fulda Tyres that wore the Maybach Exelero badge.

Travel three floors up via a tunnelled escalator, and you see why DaimlerChrysler is still a force to reckon with "" the pillar-less top hall had close to 25 cars on display, ranging from the basic E 200 Kompressor to the carbon fibre DTM racer driven by Mika Hakkinen. Truly impressive. Blame the strobe lights and smoke screens, my head was spinning already, and I already had an impressive collection of press stuff. But the DC show spilled into the foyer which was occupied by Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep brands.

The red Viper looked venomous, but the Dodge Nitro SUV looked all gas. The contrast between raw American muscle (now massaged by German bits) and European perfection was fascinating to watch, but I can tell you which car came from which side of the Atlantic just by running a finger through its panel gaps.

A short walk to the media centre where hot coffee and sausages fought for space with computer terminals followed. You see, it is nice to be at an international media centre "" where Spanish journos are giving loud sound bites over the telephone, an Italian TV crew is editing steaming digital video streams and Japanese scribes are translating entire press packs. Really a peaceful place to sit and file news copy indeed.

A unique feature differentiates the Auto Expo held at Pragati Maidan from the Frankfurt show "" electric walkways, where you can dump your luggage (now weighing a good 20 kg) and wait for a suitable exit to an escalator that will take you to yet another magical pavilion full of shiny new automobiles.

The other option is to take shuttles (minivans) provided by various car makers. At this point it is worth noting that this being a show held in Germany, only DC, BMW and VW group pavilions are easily accessible.

The Ford Group was on the second floor along with Renault, while a fast train service would have been ideal to take you to General Motors (actually, a railway line separates Hall 8 "" where GM and Peugeot Citroen were situated "" and the rest of the show). On the morning of the second day, for some reason, I missed the bus and decided to walk to Hall 8 straight. Big mistake.

By the time I reached, I was cold and my feet had blisters. The GM bouquet of car companies are not doing so well, yet what they showcased was impressive. Opel may not mean much to Indians any more, but the new Frontera SUV concept and the Opel Astra TwinTop convertibles were fab.

The Chevrolet pavilion had the Aveo three-box sedan which will debut in India soon. Cadillac took a step back by showing another Opel-based, front-wheel driven luxury car called BLS "" not really bling or bliss, this machine. Things hotted up with a red Corvette Z06 which was hung from the wall. Suzuki was concentrating on the new Vitara and some cosmetic jobs on the hot-selling Swift. A brief stop at Michelin meant some nice ice-cream to recoup and soft candy to much on "" thank you, Bibendum.

The otherwise fiercely independent PSA Group joined hands with Toyota to produce variants of the Toyota Aygo supermini. But the star of the Peugeot show was the 20Cup three-wheeled sport roadster which gave a hint of how the upcoming 206 will look like.

Also shown was the Moovie concept designed by Andre Costa, a Portuguese student who won the annual Peugeot Design Competition. Scary, since the Moovie concept looked like a self illuminating snail. The Citroen C-Sportlounge sounds like a modern bar, but is actually a Mercedes CLS-rivalling sport coupe with lot of space for the games people play. Brilliant in banana yellow, I must add.

Halls 6, 5 and 4 in that order were next in the agenda. Hyundai had the facelifted Getz to show, along with an interesting concept car. The Korean giant is supporting the upcoming World Cup in Germany and that meant the theme was soccer.

Entire Italy will be rooting for the success of the Fiat Grande Punto "" since the health of Fiat, and hence the Italian economy, depends on the success of this machine. The Punto has character and even a nose job that could do Maseratis proud. Armed with the award winning 1.3 litre multi-jet engine, it is the best product for India "" Tata, are you interested?

Honda was celebrating their new Civic "" this futuristic machine bristles with technology and I would rate it as one of the most significant cars of the show. Alas, what we will get in India is a larger, not-so-tech-laden American Civic. Mitsubishi had the Sportback concept with a gaping mouth on display, while Porsche decided to hold back the debut of the Cayman by displaying just a plastic alligator (the Cayman is a 'gator breed, apparently).

A series of meetings with people who designed Audis "" the A4 and even the new Q7 "" was next. Followed by lunch that can be termed the biggest wastage of time and energy since the American occupation of Iraq. Sure, the food was gourmet and the champagne was great, but I still didn't have the Ford press kit, you see.

Day Three saw me head straight to the Ford Group display where I saw, arguably, the most beautiful automobile in production today "" the Aston Martin V8 Vantage. It is a stunningly proportionate machine that exudes everything a Bondmobile needs to be.

Jaguar also had a new car, the XK8 "" which would have been a great thing if it was not to have its debut alongside the aforementioned Aston. While the Volvo C70, to be built by Pininfarina, looked futuristic, the clutch of Land Rovers, especially the Range Rover Sport explained why the brand is going from strength to strength. Mazda had the oddly named, odd-looking Sassou concept on display alongside the new interpretation of the best selling sports car in recent history "" the Mazda Miata.

Renault had invited Dacia, its Romanian arm, to be present and that meant I saw the Logan for the first time in the flesh. The Logan will come to India with a 1.5 litre common-rail diesel in 2007. Going by the overall fit and finish, Tata need to worry indeed. But then, it looks a lot like the Indigo!

Carlos Ghosn is one modern day automotive legend I would love to meet. After turning around Nissan, Ghosn is now heading Renault, and the Egeus concept SUV showed where he wants to take the French car maker to. And yes, Renault also showed the all-new Clio which does not have much significance to India, but is a money spinner for the firm in Europe. BMW had the Z4 coupe as their main attraction. Whether you like Chris Bangle or not, it looked good.

Well, it was time for me to catch a flight and leave the 61st Frankfurt Motor Show. My legs bled and ached, and flashy cars danced past every time I tried to close my eyes. Thanks to DHL, half of my press kit booty was already on its way to Mumbai. Altogether it was a nice show. Car makers seemed cautious, cars real, spending minimal and there were hybrid-this and hybrid-that to please the ecoweenies. And the Chinese cars on display, though cheap, were not up to the mark, so breath easy.

Of course, there is a lot more that I did "" like taking numerous photographs with a malfunctioning camera, riding shotgun in an off-road course laid out by Jeep and sharpening my driving skills in numerous simulations. I even beat Montoya's time in an F1 sim "" you believe that, right?