Spinning out of control

FITNESS

There are two things you cannot do without in spinning class "" a super-absorbent towel and an extra-large bottle of water. For all those who ask, "What in the world is spinning?" I would advise a peek into a spinning studio at the local gym.

Twenty-odd red-faced, sweat-sodden adults in a semi-circle toiling for an hour, sans intermission, over a bike that takes you nowhere, while an instructor barks out instructions over disco hits...and you realise spinning has nothing to do with whirling dervishes rotating to Sufi melodies.

The start to a spinning class is deceptively leisurely. Pedalling on a stationary bike for five minutes, at a self-determined speed, to Madonna isn't so bad, you think.

But then the music gets racier, the instructor assumes the personality of a despot and some 10 turns of the resistance knob later, you're jogging, sprinting and running, without your legs ever hitting the ground.

Spinning really is all about the interplay between speed and resistance but as you get used to it, you begin to think of it as a marriage of exercise and entertainment.

It's a lot like being in a nightclub, your pedalling is in sync with the beats of the music and outmoded strobe lights dance above your head. It's even more entertaining if you have an instructor who believes he's a disco queen-turned-gym instructor from the '80s, a la Richard Simmons.

Dammit, you think, it's only 15 minutes into class and your heart rate (a heart rate monitor is the third essential) is peaking. By then you're furiously making your way through (simulated) hills, peaks, valleys and troughs.

A good instructor will animate the "journeys" he takes you on, pointing out "landmarks" along the way for fleeting distraction from the throbbing gluteus maximus.

Worry not if there's a strange wailing emanating from your neighbour. And, occasionally, you will bear witness to an ill-fated newcomer falling off her bike, squatting in a tangled heap at the bottom.

There's no scope for gloating or tittering "" one glance in the monstrous mirrors that surround the room and you realise you're not looking so pretty yourself.

Is spinning only for those who covet Tina Turner-legs? No. It's a high intensity cardiovascular workout that "" by assuming different positions of sitting and standing "" puts several muscles through the wringer. There is no definable pattern to the workout, so anticipation might keep you coming back for more.

There are rumours that suggest a few years of spinning will kill either your knees or your lower back but I put that down to having suffered a poor instructor.

A friend was heard screaming "it's torture" after his first class, never to return. He is right, only if torture equals fun. Besides, for anyone that's grown up on a staple of sopoforic Jane Fonda do-it-yourself workout tapes, this pales in comparison.