The game of love

Does marriage provide stability to a pro's career?

Scotsman Colin Montgomerie, one of the world's best players never to have won a Major, suffered a big blow this week. His wife, Eimear, agreed to separate "with a view to divorce" after 14 years of marriage.

Monty, a seven-time winner of the European Order of Merit, had earlier briefly split with his wife in 2001. And like this time, the blame falls squarely on Monty's obssession with the game. The couple have three children and Eimear had given up a career in law to raise the family.

So sudden was the decision that Montgomerie pulled out of an Asian Tour event in Beijing this week and returned from China without hitting a single ball. This again brings us to the question on whether marriage helps professional golf.

The recent lacklustre preformance from Tiger Woods is also being linked to his engagement to girlfriend, Elin Nordegren.

At the same time, someone like Phil Mickelson, has become more 'complete' after getting over the trauma of coming close to losing his wife, Amy, during a childbirth last year.

About three years before Woods popped the big question to Elin, his father, Earl, had said, "A wife can sometimes be a deterrent to a good golf game. The level Tiger's at, finite problems like that would destroy him." Tiger has not won a Major in last one-and-a-half years.

Does marriage hinder a golfer's quest to add more titles? Do single Tour pros have an advantage? Yet, there are some who feel 'a good marriage' can be just the anchor and provide the emotional stability a player needs.

Many top Indian pros have been known to travel with their partners and this has helped to improve their results. Arjun Atwal, Jyoti Randhawa and Harmeet Kahlon are known to tour with their wives.

Atwal recently, said, "Marriage has helped me a lot. Sona (his wife) has put in a lot of discipline into my routine." Jyoti, married to Tina, a model-cum-actress, has been quoted as saying, "It is always nice to come back to somebody after a day's round."

Both Atwal and Randhawa have had tremendous success since their marriage. Randhawa has won the Asian Order of Merit in 2002 and won a title in Japan apart from making waves on the Asian Tour, while Atwal won the Asian Order of Merit in 2003 and then qualified for the US PGA Tour. Atwal and his wife, Sona, are now expecting their first child this year.

Harmeet Kahlon and his wife, Shalini, decided that her traveling with him would allow some time together after a hard day's work at the course.

Golfers often call marriage the "X-Factor". They are not quite sure how it will affect them.

While most games require professionals to spend a lot of time on the road, golf's very nature makes it different. Players need to block out problems for an entire four-hour round as also during long practice sessions on the range.

A player needs to re-focus himself every few minutes. The concentration is applied in the moments before and during a shot. Yet, in between shots, the mind can wander during the long, lonely walks. That's when the nerves and unchecked emotion can destroy the delicate rhythm.

Monty's children were once quoted as saying, they would look at their father's scorecard before talking to him or asking for something. Even a birdie or a bogey on the last hole would make the difference in his mood swings.

Sports psychologist Bob Rotella noted: "In this game, you have to have peace of mind. I don't think it's any accident the greatest player who ever lived has an unbelievable and very together family," he added.

His reference was clearly to Jack Nicklaus, who married Barbara Bash when he was 20. He went on to win 73 PGA Tour events and a record 18 professional major championships while living up to his pledge to Barbara that he would never be away from his family for more than two weeks in a row.

On the Ladies Tour, Annika Sorenstam is proving the same. Sorenstam won six LPGA events before she married David Esch in 1997 and has won 42 Tour events since.

The Nicklaus family is still so close that all five of Jack and Barbara's children and grandchildren live within eight-minute drive of their family home in North Palm Beach. Clearly he is the role model in pro golf, when it comes to balancing a family life, marriage and golf.

Deborah Graham, a sports psychologist, has been quoted as saying, "Some play their very best after their children are born. The simplest way to say it is that they put importance on something besides golf... For others, having children makes it more difficult."

Graham also works with Tour wives . She says. "In my estimation, the best situation is a good marriage, the worst is a bad marriage. In a good marriage, where you have two great partners, the sum is greater than the parts."

Monty achieved a lot during his 14 years of marriage but often gave more time to the game than his family. Now his golf is slipping and so is his marriage. Things can never be the same for any two human beings. It is all about finding the right balance and dealing with the X-factor.