Recently I was asked to supply my views for a newspaper story about the increasing demand for child-free zones in public places. The journalist had read one of my blog posts, wherein I expressed (in a semi-facetious tone) my lack of fondness for human children, especially the ones who knocked tea cups into my lap during a train journey while their parents beamed indulgently.
Accordingly, she decided that I would make a good witness for the prosecution, so to speak. I tried clarifying that I didn’t have a hardline stance on the subject of child-free zones, but she sent across a questionnaire anyway.
When the story appeared in print I was surprised to find myself quoted as a member of “the pro-child-free zone lobby”, which “thinks nothing unreasonable about its campaign”. This despite my insistence that I wasn’t an activist for any sort of “campaign”; all I asked was that more parents try to wrap their heads around the idea that everyone isn’t lining up to shower “cho-chweets” upon their offsprings and that the responsibility for monitoring their child in a public place rests with them.
This should not be a difficult concept to grasp. But we live in a society where boundless love for children is taken for granted and where people who are very conservative in most things don’t hesitate to ask invasive questions about why a couple hasn’t had a child yet (sometimes even offering suggestions on how to hasten the process).
Naturally, then, if you have the temerity to show discomfort when a child strays into your space, the vibes you usually get from its proud parents are: “But…but…but it’s the fruit of my loins and everyone HAS to love it — how dare you be apathetic to it, you sub-human!”
What does all this have to do with a column about online discourse? Well, the comments that appeared on the newspaper article and on my blog were illuminating. Some of them cleverly pointed out that anyone who disliked children “forgot” that he was once a child himself (duh), and where would he be today if his parents had felt the same way? (My answer: nowhere, of course, but what you never knew can’t hurt you.) Also the equally amusing (and equally beside the point) question: “Where would the human race be if everyone disliked children?” (Answer: probably extinct, which would make this planet a better place.)
Other irate commenters proclaimed in an all-knowing tone that having a child of your own miraculously transforms your attitude to such issues. Again, I regret to say, this is self-serving balderdash. I know several people (my own mother for one) who have been pretty good parents themselves but who are comfortably indifferent to other people’s kids. I also know people who love kids in general but are mature enough to not react viscerally to those who don’t.
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In fact, as one of the more sensible commenters on my blog pointed out, “Parents who are capable of respecting the fact that other people may have different points of view, are more likely to be good parents in the first place — the sort who will respect their children’s personal choices in future even if they don’t understand them.”
On the other hand, there’s the anonymous vermin who left this gem: “hey a child is a blessing and BTW when u r old and grey its my child’s taxes that will pay u’r pension and other govt freebies .. kids r the future ..people who dont have kids are selfish and self centred” (sic). I’m suddenly very worried for the future of his children.