Tiger by the tail

SIMPLY GOLF

Tiger Woods. Mention that name and the atmosphere becomes charged. You can feel the electricity. You can sense it when he is around, or is about to come to the place.

It does not matter where: be it a room, the driving range, the putting green or the pathway leading to the first tee.

Everybody has a word to chip when the topic is Woods. His private jet, his fiancee, his penchant for staying in hotels where there is a helipad, his bodyguards, his mangers, his sponsorship deals.

Ironically, when the conversation is Woods, the topic least discussed is his game. It is almost as if he has no right to be anything but the best. He makes news when he wins; and greater news when he does not.

Little wonder then it is the dream of every tournament director to get Woods into the field. I have been privy to conversations, where rich promoters asking tournament directors, what it would cost to get Woods to the first tee box of their tournament. The papers say the price is upwards of $2 million (three million is more like it!).

Then there is a lot else attached to it. He demands "" and gets the kind of privacy, which even presidents would think twice before asking for it.

He needs hotels with helipads, so that he can travel back and forth without worrying about security or traffic. He is provided with security personnel by the organisers in addition to the ones that he brings with him.

Money, they say can buy anything. But when it comes to Woods, you can send a blank cheque and just sit back and hope that he has the time to see it, let alone consider it. His calendar is packed "" and he never wavers from his schedule.

Never plays more than 25-26 weeks in a year "" most others play at least 8-10 weeks more than him. He makes no more than three to four golfing trips outside the US.

A few years back, Woods admitted that he tries to play in as many new countries as possible. He has a soft corner for Thailand (his mother, Kutilda is Thai); he has played in events in New Zealand (his caddie, Steve Williams, a Kiwi, convinced him to do so); Germany (the Deutsche Bank German Open contributes to Tiger Woods Foundation), Japan ( his sponsors have huge interests in Japan) and Dubai, where he can be pampered no end.

But even Dubai has an eye on global recognition. Efforts to promote Dubai as a global golfing destination for the rich and famous get highlighted when he is around.

Global media troops along wherever he plays. When Woods plays an event it is no longer just a golf event, it is a global marketing campaign.

Woods and his managers understand that perfectly well. But he hardly makes a public appearance. His press conferences at Dubai were limited to the official media directors, who in turn circulated the quotes; photographers had to queue up hours before Woods' tee time to get their arm bands, which gave them a right to shoot pictures of the group in which Woods played.

The nearest you can get to him is about 20 ft. And when you do, all you can do is stare in awe. But some like, Mark O'Meara, his closest buddy and winner at the Dubai Desert Classic this year, are luckier.

He got a bear hug, when he finished at the 18th green to win the title. And what's more, he also got a ride back to the US on an airline O'Meara himself has christened as TWA (Tiger Woods Airways).

I sit back and think about the nearly $100 million he makes every year and as I hold the club in my hand, I think, if only dreams could fly.

But in my case it is only the sand, as I try to get out the bunker. The ball stays there and my friends call me "Lawrence of Arabia" in jest "" a term for one who cannot get out of the bunker.