Conversations on consent difficult for young Indians: Tinder survey

Most young adults in India have little to no confidence in navigating consent and find it hard to have conversations on the subject, revealed a recent survey by dating app Tinder. Amongst those surveyed in Mumbai, 65 per cent chose not to speak to their date/partner when their consent was violated.

Tinder, along with YouGov, conducted a perception survey of 1,018 Indian young adults (ages 18 to 30) across Delhi, Bombay, Bangalore, Pune, Kolkata, Chennai and Hyderabad.

“Younger adults are perhaps the only generation that has dated exclusively or for the majority of their dating lives in a technology and platform enabled manner. The question that emerges is if this technology-enabled sociological shift has also changed how this segment perceives, communicates and acts upon consent in private settings,” said Vithika Yadav, country head, Love Matters India.

More than 65 per cent of those surveyed do not know how to give consent, how to ask for it or how to withdraw it when dating someone. Further, more than 50 per cent do not know what to do if their consent is violated. When asked about such situations, only one in four admitted to speaking to their partner about it and preferred turning to a friend or looking for resources online.

More than 60 per cent of young adults indicated that they hesitate to ask for and explicitly give consent while with a date or partner, and 67 per cent struggle to withdraw consent once given.

70 per cent of men revealed that they struggle to communicate about consent which, the report says, can lead to uncomfortable experiences for their partners and themselves. Further, eight in ten Indians have either personally experienced or know someone who has experienced something uncomfortable while being with someone.

Six in ten respondents revealed that they would hesitate to say no to a kiss while an almost equal number say they would hesitate to dismiss intimate advances even if it made them uncomfortable.

According to the report, consent usually takes a backseat to avoid hurt, conflict or awkwardness. 36 per cent respondents fear hurting their partner’s/date’s feelings, 34 per cent themselves feel awkward about having such conversations and 31 per cent are anxious about not being liked. An equal number revealed that they did not know how to say no.

“This confusion could possibly arise from a general shyness to communicate freely about intimacy, with 7 in 10 respondents feeling hesitant to discuss their sexual fantasies with their date/partners,” said the report. One in two of those surveyed were also unsure about interpreting signals during physical intimacy.

However, the report stated that more young adults today are aware about the need for consent to be discussed more openly and its importance in the dating space.

47 per cent of respondents want to primarily learn how to give consent, with 40 per cent interested in learning about how to navigate consent while meeting someone online.

In addition, close to 7 in 10 young Indians believe that consent should be discussed more openly with partners and even taught in schools and colleges. While six in ten seek more resources and safe spaces, both online and physical on consent to be more educated in their personal settings.

83 percent of those surveyed in Mumbai believe that consent should be discussed more openly with partners.

Om Bhanushali, 19, Tinder member from Mumbai, said, “I believe it’s always good to talk about things upfront. Earlier, I used to take hints from non-verbal cues which can seriously backfire. But once I started openly discussing consent with my date, it made us more comfortable with each other.”

Almost 13 per cent of those surveyed believe that dating apps should take charge of consent awareness.

“Our conversations with Tinder members and the survey with young adult daters in India gave us insight into the overwhelming need to create safe spaces for conversations on boundaries and mutual respect, which are not often discussed in our society,” said Taru Kapoor, GM, Tinder & Match Group, India.

To encourage conversations around consent, Tinder is bringing back its ‘Let’s Talk Consent’ initiative which was launched last year in partnership with Yuvaa and Pink Legal, the company revealed in a statement. The platform also offers other safety features such as Video Chat- designed to facilitate a pre-IRL date, Photo Verification to ensure members are who they say they are, Block Contacts and an updated Reporting process.