How Dilip Ghosh cemented his reputation by throwing pearls before bovines

It had to happen. When the establishment is drawing battle lines to pronounce who constitutes an Indian or a nationalist or a refugee worthy of shelter in India today, the segregation of foreign and Indian cows was inevitable.

And of course we have Dilip Ghosh to thank for it. The eminent, intrepid ethnographer of the bovinity edified all proud nationalistic Indians (and confounded weak-kneed antinationals) this week with an important clarification. The West Bengal Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) president and Member of Parliament explained that foreign breeds of cows are not our “gau mata” (cow mothers) but our “aunties”. 

Ghosh was speaking at an event organised by a welfare committee for cows and, erm, Ghoshes (the “Ghosh and Gabhi Kalyan Samiti”). He said: “The country’s own breed of cows have a special characteristic. There is gold mixed in its milk and that is why the colour of their milk is golden. There is a ‘nari’ (blood vessel) that helps produce gold with the help of sunlight. So, we have to keep those (local) cows. If we drink ‘desi’ cow milk, we will become healthy and can prevent diseases.”

Foreign breeds of cow produce substantially higher yields of milk than do indigenous ones. Ghosh did not discuss this matter, as he searched in vain for the gold standard in milk and in public speaking.

What are the other fine differences between the cow auntie and gau mata? The cow auntie, continued Ghosh, is in fact a kind of beast that also does not sound like the native cow. “It will not be good for the country if we worship such aunties. …It is not right to worship our gods with the milk of foreign breeds, like Jersey cows. Even the gods of our nation don’t accept foreign commodities. But those who were educated in English love everything English. They also like English wives.”

The love for everything “English”, Ghosh said, is at the heart of the “gondogol” (problem). “Not only foreign cows, a lot many are bringing foreign wives. They are coming here and are a malicious influence on our leaders. They are having to go to jail.”

Ghosh had more pearls to offer. Some were reserved for those likely to have a scientific temperament. No wonder his beef extended to intellectuals. “Few intellectuals eat beef on roads, I am asking them to eat dog meat too. Their health will do fine, no matter which animal they eat, but why on roads? Eat at your home,” Ghosh somewhat mystifyingly told reporters at the same event.

Ghosh’s rise has been swift at a time the BJP is in the ascendant in West Bengal, after serving as a Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) pracharak (worker), being in charge of the RSS in the Andaman & Nicobar Islands and assisting former chief of the Sangh K S Sudarshan.

In his four years as state party chief, Ghosh has put his foot in his mouth repeatedly. This hasn’t stopped him from getting elected as a legislator in 2016 and as an MP this year. At a public event last year he threatened to kill workers of the ruling Trinamool Congress party in West Bengal, while throwing in a Gabbar Singh reference. A couple of months ago, he suggested that the BJP should launch a “surgical strike” on Kolkata’s Jadavpur University so as to destroy “anti-nationals”.

The utter disregard for public morality in these instances aside, Ghosh's previous utterances are positively lame compared to his latest claims. You can try till the cows come home, but you’re unlikely to ever forget these golden nuggets.