Customer service as therapy best for those who just want someone to listen

When Kate Lacroix was driving alone from Seattle to Vancouver for a funeral, she called AT&T to get an international wireless plan. By the time she arrived, not only did she have a new phone plan, she also had a refreshed outlook on life and death.
 
“I was feeling lonely and wistful,” she said, “so I shared, ‘I’m headed to a funeral for a person who was a stranger but became a friend.’” The customer service agent said, “Well, everyone’s a stranger before they’re a friend.”
 
Lacroix appreciated his thoughtful response. “It was something a therapist might say — wise, grounding, and it didn’t close the circle, like, ‘Sorry for your loss.’ It widened the circle at a time I was feeling super tender.” They talked for an hour and 37 minutes.

 

“What started out as a call to get an international plan became a help line,” said Lacroix, 44, the owner of a pantry-building service called Stocked. She goes to therapy regularly, and this exchange felt familiar. “It felt similar to a therapy session because it’s an unbiased person who’s taking time to help illuminate or provide relief,” she said.
 
“Many people seek out therapy for someone to listen to them,” said Rachel Kazez, a licensed clinical social worker in Chicago. And in the digital age, when many people are craving human interaction, unloading on an anonymous customer service representative who is obligated to listen has a certain appeal.

 
Some people who could benefit from more formal therapy avoid going because they believe there is a stigma around mental health issues. Others report factors like cost and time. Impromptu sessions during customer service calls avoid those concerns.
 
Of course, using customer service in this way is best for those who may not really need professional therapy, but just want someone to listen.
 
Seniorly.com, a senior living marketplace, frequently receives calls that take a therapeutic turn. One caller was looking for care for her husband with dementia. “She began to discuss her recent diagnosis with breast cancer,” said Arthur Bretschneider, the chief executive and founder of Seniorly. “It became clear that she was so overwhelmed with her husband’s needs, she wasn’t taking care of her own,” he said. Now she calls Seniorly once a week. “We left an open line of communication for her to get angry, hear a really corny joke, or find resources.”

 
In customer service, being easy to talk to goes a long way. “Reps often have welcoming voices and are good listeners, and that can make us feel like opening up,” said Kazez, who founded All Along, a service that helps people find therapists via phone or email consultations.
 
Listening is one of the secrets at Zappos, which is frequently recognised for its outstanding customer service. “If they want to talk, we want to listen,” even if it has nothing to do with shoes, said Rob Siefker, the company’s senior director of customer service. “We don’t set out with the intention of being anyone’s counsellor, but one of our biggest metrics for evaluation is whether we made an emotional connection with every customer. Sometimes creating those connections means talking about personal stuff,” he explained.

 
“We teach our team to listen for a customer’s unstated needs, alongside the obvious needs, to find the best solution. Our training emphasises actively listening,” he said. Ms. Kazez said these are foundational skills she’d use as a therapist, but isn’t surprised the customer service industry uses them, too.
 
© 2019 The New York Times News Service