Advice to voters: find your voter ID card before Murphy's law does

A tale of EPIC loss

When you’ve spent five years waiting for an election like a woman in a desert waiting for rain, Murphy’s law states that a week before the election begins, you will lose your voter card. 

I didn’t realise that immediately, of course. One evening I sauntered over to the pouch in which I keep all the super important stuff, like my PAN card and my sentimental aircraft boarding cards and my LED headlamp. I observed that the voter card wasn’t there, so I looked four more times, because denial. Then I searched around in that general area, peeking under newspaper lining, displacing dustballs, a little surprised but not really worried. I observed a total absence of voter card, so I did it four more times, because denial. 

A mild anxiety took root in my belly. I checked my wallet and every zipped compartment in my bag and then, with rising urgency, ripped apart all my files and envelopes, separating every single piece of paper to see if the card had lodged there accidentally. I observed that it wasn’t anywhere, so I did it all four more times, because denial. I held my head in my hands, trying to shake loose the memory of some super-secret-theft-proof place I’d put it so that it would be safe. I turned the house upside down and inside out, and observed that my voter card was simply not there, so I did it four more times, because denial. I repeated various parts of these exercises for seven consecutive days.

Finally, I had to just admit to myself that it was lost. With acceptance came bitter remorse and self-loathing for having been so stupid. It wasn’t just that it had happened, it was that I had let it happen.

I imagine this is how some 2014 voters must be feeling.

After failing to get the Election Commission of India website to work, and one sleepless night, I decided to go straight to the horse’s mouth. 

Murphy’s law, though, says that the horse’s mouth will be closed when you get there. I had missed the public dealing window between 10am and 1pm. I stood around until a broad-shouldered youth equipped with a large sandwich passed me and opened the door to step inside. I scurried behind him, hoping to slip through in the shadow of the sandwich, but he was clearly familiar with this kind of sneakiness because he stopped, blocking the doorway, and wanted to know what I wanted to know.

I told him my sad story. He was shaking his gory locks at me when a kinder soul in the depths called out that I should file an online FIR and turn up in during office hours with that and a photo ID; a duplicate card would be issued to me on the spot.

I ran home, filed and printed the FIR, photocopied a photo ID, and ran back the next day at the right time. I’m happy to report that it was an easy, lightning quick process—in less than three minutes I was handed a jazzy new credit card-style voter’s ID. Please don’t tell me how I can also vote with other identification--I’m taking no chances.

Before leaving, I asked the man at the counter, “Can you confirm that my name is on the rolls?” He looked a bit surprised, since he had just printed me a card off the rolls. “Yes,” he said. “Do I need to re-check closer to voting day?” I asked. “No,” he said wearily.

But I have great respect for Murphy’s law, so I will be re-checking closer to voting day.