Here's what my son does. He parks his money into demat accounts, or fixed deposit schemes, or wherever he can find a rate of interest that's better than the market average. Then he "borrows" money for his expenses, as a result his coffers keep swelling while mine, by inverse proportion, keep diminishing. To this, he usually adds a home-grown quality of emotional blackmail: "Can't you buy your only son a jacket?" Or car insurance? Or fuel? Or a ticket to London?
Of course, he "plans" to pay, so an elaborate system of EMIs is put into place even for evenings out with friends for which he takes cash against a bewildering number of post-dated cheques for what is essentially a small principal. But point out that it adds up to an amount disproportionately more than the sum he borrowed and he'll explain it away as the "additional" sum he owed for the time he needed an advance for his Goa weekend. "But that was a far higher amount," I protest. "Have you forgotten the bit I paid in cash?" he explains. "Which was for the time you bought yourself a fancy helmet," I point out. "I returned that money to Mom," he'll obfuscate - no, she doesn't remember this either - "but I'm giving you a little extra so the next time I need funds, I've already paid for them."
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He insists he's paying the EMI for his car though I know I paid him the full amount for it in one go, so if I'm not the one fudging the facts, who is? Now he's taken another loan for a superbike from his mother, but I have to pay her the sum, so will he settle with her, or me, or neither? "Remember the money I paid for my gym membership," - that he borrowed from me - "against which I squared off for the office flight tickets - really? - "so I only need to pay half on the bike now," he suggests. "But I also paid the booking account," I remind him. "Which Mom will pay you," he assures me "But she paid for the rest of the bike," I tell him "I know," he says, "so you can square up the advance I took from you, with the money she loaned me for the bike, so it's all evened out." But didn't he take all the money for the bike from me, or my wife? "I'm paying the EMIs on it to the finance company, aren't I?" he clarifies. He is - so where did the principal go?
Which is why when he decided to finance his sister's next online purchase, we knew to expect trouble. She ordered a bag that's been delivered. Her brother says he paid for it. She says she gave him cash for it. I know the money was withdrawn from my credit card. My wife wants to know if everyone else paid, why the sum was borrowed from her in the first place. My son has the answer but he's not saying - he's not a lawyer for nothing.