Kishore Singh: Money matters in matrimony

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Now that my wife has a sizeable income of her own, I've been planning to take an extended sabbatical, six months "" perhaps even a year "" off to write a book, or travel, or just be.

"Perish the thought," said my wife when I first broached the subject, "who's going to keep me in kanjeevarams if you stop working?"

I admit to being just a little surprised because, only a few days before, when we'd been discussing the state of our finances, she'd expressed the hope of chipping in to help.

"Don't worry about Ranikhet," she'd offered, when the question of paying for building in the hills came up, "I'd like to take that on as my responsibility."

And when I'd wheezed across the city clutching a sheaf of post-paid cheques that entitled me to a club membership at a dude place in town, she'd said, "You shouldn't be paying for everything so as soon as I have a little balance in my bank, I'll settle the membership fee with you."

I presumed that she was a little concerned at the thought of my early retirement, and so didn't make too much of it. At any rate, I was hardly likely to write a bestseller, and besides, where was the fun in travelling alone? It was best, therefore, if I maintained status quo, and my wife was sure to chip in with luxuries for the family. Such as a new car.

"What's wrong with the one you have?" she demanded, when I suggested I trade in the family car for a larger, more powerful vehicle, seeing how many times we found ourselves on the highway.

"It's a terrible idea," she said, "you'll never find parking for a larger car, besides I was thinking of changing my car, so you'll have to wait since both of us can hadly afford new cars at the same time."

"We could," I suggested, "as long as you pay for a new car for yourself, and I'll pay for mine." "That's impossible," said my wife, "buying cars is your responsibility, and it's time you bought me a new one."

We decided to put the matter of our cars on hold, but just so she felt empowered, I suggested she begin to pool in some money for the household expenses. "Is it your money?" my wife demanded to know. "Well, no," I admitted. "Then," said my wife, "let us agree that your money is our money, but my money is my own."

I resigned myself to the fact that my wife was not a modern woman of the 21st century, but surely she could take care of her own expenses? "Do you think I can afford to look after myself," my wife was incredulous, "do you have any idea how much it costs to take care of me?"

I admitted I had some idea, which is why it would help if she pitched in for the odd pedicure or shopping binge with her means, but that she was not to worry, I'd handle the financial affairs of the family.

"Fine," said my wife, "I need some money." "Sure," I agreed, "and not that I'm asking, but could you tell me what it's for?" "I thought I'd take the children out for lunch and buy them something nice at the mall, now that they have a working mom," she replied.

"But surely if you're treating them, you ought to pay for it," I grumbled. "Don't be silly," said my wife, "it may be my treat for them, but that doesn't mean I'm going to waste my hard-earned money on some frivolous things for them. I'd like to make sure that any money of my own that I spend will be on something that is worthwhile."