Sarla: “I have no money, what am I going to do?” Car parking attendant: “Sahib, change .” Wife to me: “I need you to go deposit some cash in the bank.” Son: “Dad, I’m taking your new currency notes.” Cook: “Madam, you can give me my advance salary for one year in old notes.” Daughter: “Mom, I’m taking your credit card.” Gardener: “The neighbours gave me Rs 2 lakh to deposit in my account. Do you think I should give it back?” Newspaper delivery boy: “What, you don’t have Paytm yet?” Tailor: “No new currency, no new clothes!” Bank teller: “Sorry sir, we’re out of cash.”
Sarla: “Okay, I have some money, I sold a house, will you deposit some cash for me in your account?” Hotel concierge: “I know you don’t have money now, but remember to tip me for two trips the next time.” Son: “Dad, I need your debit card.” Group of diners at a restaurant: “Here are nine cards for you to split the bill equally among us.” Daughter: “Mom, I’ve taken the new currency you were hiding in your wardrobe.” Wife: “You can’t do that, I stole it from your father.” Driver: “Sir, can you transfer my extra duty allowance to my account?” Parents: “Son, we need you to courier us some cash.” Courier agent: “Sir, you need to pay in cash.” Bank relationship manager: “Sorry sir, we’re out of cash.”
Sarla: “I found some more currency I was saving for a house I wanted to buy, will you deposit it for me?” Sabziwallah: “Strictly no credit, no change.” Wife: “If you don’t give me some legal money, how am I going to run this house?” Note on invitation card of friend’s daughter’s wedding: “Guests can give their shagun through debit card machines at the entrance of the venue.” Son: “Dad, you can pay my credit card bill, I’m out of currency.” Daughter: “I’m out of currency too, please transfer some to my account.” Wife: “Everybody’s husbands are pampering them with new currency notes, but all I have to spend is from a credit card.” Schoolkid: “Uncle, I’ll stand in the ATM queue for you but you’ll have to pay me half the money.” Bank manager: “Sorry sir, we’re out of cash.”
Sarla: “I can give you money, but it isn’t mine so you’ll have to return it with interest.” HR manager: “We’re delaying salaries because you can’t draw it from the bank anyway.” Wife: “Of course I have cash, I got it from the bank, but I don’t want to spend it on stupid things like household expenses.” Son: “Dad, can you pay my boss’ credit card bill? He says there’s no money in the system.” Daughter’s friend: “Uncle, your daughter needs money so she can take us out for a treat.” Daughter: “Dad, give me some money so my friends don’t think you’re a skinflint.” Grocery shop owner: “Please get your KYC documents to avail of credit.” Bank division manager: “Sorry sir, we’re out of cash.”
Sarla: “When did I say I don’t have money? I just don’t have money to spend.” Sign above pharmacy cashier: “Our medicines don’t work on credit.” Son: “Dad, I thought I could count on you for a little something like money.” Wife: “I’ve give you Rs 2,000 if you return Rs 1,900 in change.” Bellboy: “Sir, I have change, in case you want to break Rs 2,000 for a tip.” Bank regional manager: “Sorry sir, we’re out of cash.”