<b>Letters:</b> Gaps in GAAPs

After the Enron, Andersen, Xerox, Tyco and the WorldCom snafus, a new lexicon for those in the financial sector has evolved. Some the names have been converted into verbs — enroned, xeroxed (this is not the usual one), etc. Now with some more “truth” having emerged, here are some of the terms to revive your memory. 

 

EBIT — Earnings Before Internal Tampering

EBITDA — Earnings Before I Tricked Damn Auditor

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer (though some may prefer another word beginning with F)

NAV — Normal Andersen Valuation

FRS — Fantasy Reporting Standards

P/E — Parole Entitlement

EPS — Eventual Prison Sentence

RONW — Return on Notional Worth

Evidently, GAAPs has several Gaps! These events also led people like George Bush to comment on them. He announced that Saddam Hussein had agreed to have his nuclear/biological warheads counted — only that Andersen should do it!

Soon after the Enron fiasco, there was a new book out — The Enrob Annual Report. However, let us not be harsh on the corporate sector — I read on the rear windshield of a car that stealing, theft, robbery etc are crimes because government does not like competition!

T R Ramaswami, Mumbai

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