Manas Chakravarty: Reliance: the untold stories

WATCHWORD

It is a matter of great regret that many of the positive stories about the Reliance group have been completely missed. Here are a few on the numerous awards won by the group:

Reliance gets award for Manufacturing
In a star-studded ceremony today, the minister for company affairs handed over this year's Award for Manufacturing to Reliance Chairman Mukesh Ambani. The Award has been given to the Reliance group for its success in manufacturing the maximum number of shell companies in the shortest possible time.

"I can assure you that it has been a very tough fight, because one of India Inc's core competences has always been the creation of shell companies. But recent events have shown that the Reliance group has been creating these companies at breakneck speed," said the minister.

Later on, the director of the department of company affairs thanked the Reliance chairman for keeping his staff occupied. "We would have had to start a VRS programme if Reliance had not created all these shell companies," pointed out the director.

Reliance gets award for Corporate Governance
The government is considering making the Reliance Industries board structure mandatory for all companies.

"Look at the positive effect it has on transparency," said the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Board of India. "See how Mukesh had to surrender his shares in Reliance Infocomm," he added.

"The idea," he said, "is to ensure that there are periodical splits within the board so that all the dirty linen is washed in public, with regular leaks to the media."

The Sebi chairman was speaking at a function for giving away the Corporate Governance Award for 2004 to the Reliance group.

"We're also thinking of making it mandatory to have two brothers as the chairman and vice-chairman of a company," said a source on condition of anonymity. "That way, we'll make sure they fight frequently and spill all the inside information," he pointed out.

Reliance gets award for Agriculture
In a related development, the minister of agriculture today conferred the award for "Best Planter of the Year," to the Reliance group. "The group's dedicated efforts at planting stories in the media need to be encouraged," he said.

The Reliance spokesperson said he was humbled by the award. "I had to do practically nothing," he said, adding "all the credit should go to you reporters for providing such fertile soil."

Sources say, however, that the ministry of information and broadcasting has been piqued by the agriculture minister's decision. But Sharad Pawar pointed out, "The I&B ministry can always give the 'Planters' Choice' awards to journalists."

Reliance gets award for Securitisation
The Indian chapter of Securitisers, the association of the local securitisation industry, has awarded the "Chief Securitiser of the Year" award to the Reliance group treasurer. The president of the association said that the Reliance companies had done wonders in the field of securitisation.

"By parking receivables with group companies on the one hand, and assigning their sundry creditors to other group companies, the Reliance management has taken giant steps in developing the securitisation market in this country," he pointed out.

Sources say that while revenues and expenses in the group are already being parked with other companies and being securitised, moves are afoot to securitise other assets as well. They however denied reports in a section of the media that they planned to securitise Anil Ambani next.

Reliance gets award for Spirituality
At a simple ceremony today, the head of the All-India Association of Holy Men awarded the 2004 Medal for Spirituality to a representative of the Reliance group.

In his speech, the Head of the Association lauded the spiritual values of the Reliance vice-chairman, who has visited Tirupati, Mathura and other holy places in quick succession, besides writing a column on spiritual matters in a leading newspaper.

He also noted the spirit of renunciation of the Reliance chairman, which led him to give up crores of rupees in sweat equity.

Meanwhile, the Reliance representative dismissed speculation that the company's name will now be changed to Swami Relianceananda Ltd. "No, Mukesh did not give up the sweat equity because it made him stink to high heaven," he further clarified.