The makers of modern India - Gandhi, Nehru, Patel - studied abroad during their formative years. Taxpayers must, therefore, disregard penny-pinching spoilsports and insist on their successors going abroad frequently to ensure good governance. Arvind Kejriwal became Mango Man after visiting the US. Karnataka is more progressive than UP, which made Commonwealth Parliamentary Association members pay for a four-country "study tour". As elections approach, it's essential for legislators to discover through study tours that Norwegians don't "capture" voting booths and that ballot boxes in Canada aren't stuffed with forged papers.
Rakesh tells us that Karnataka MLAs were bowled over to find cows and sheep grazing in Australia and New Zealand. Possibly, they expected quadruped versions of battery hens. They had to go to New Zealand to learn that deforestation is dangerous. He doesn't disclose what secrets they picked up in Fiji but perhaps they discovered there the sun rises in the east. The 30 Karnataka MLAs who visited South America last year must have brought back similar pearls of wisdom. They may have discovered that birds (the feathered kind naturally, piety forbids our lawmakers from knowing any other) build nests.
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Not all tours are so revealing. But patriotic politicians make the best of fate's uncertain offerings. Americans, being crassly materialistic, austere Gandhians must swallow their principles and bear out Sarojini Naidu's barb about the cost of poverty by living it up in the best hotels like Greta Garbo's immortal Ninotchka. A deputy chief minister who flew there to study value added tax (VAT) wasn't disconcerted when told Americans don't have VAT. He had already been to Britain which does, but uncomplainingly returned to London to compare life with and without VAT. Ordered to lobby the Congressional Caucus on India, another chief minister didn't bother with the reception the Caucus was hosting. His impeccable reasoning was that goodwill is better established in the privacy of nightclubs.
Some think Washington is a deserted city because cars so heavily outnumber pedestrians. India's most ebullient chief minister thought the US was a one-man dictatorship since the president has no ministers, only secretaries. Undaunted by the US ambassador's advice to keep speeches short, he told American CEOs that politicians got indigestion if they didn't hold forth at length. He did, and was convinced the CEOs were speechless with admiration when, lost for words, they didn't ask a single question. The CM declared his was a lifetime appointment. "Many chief ministers become ex-chief ministers when they go home. I am here to stay," he announced breezily. His state thought otherwise, but the approaching election has turned him into another kingmaker. No human rights abuse is involved in trading in the manpower that is his major asset.
Singapore is as exciting as a funfair. Politicians are forced to go there because all flights - from Buenos Aires to Frankfurt or Mogadishu to Ulan Bator - stop in Singapore. Earlier, before ATMs became ubiquitous here, a dehati politician whispered in round-eyed wonder that money spurted out if you touched a Singapore wall. Another was amazed that Singaporeans didn't urinate against fences. Now, Singapore qualifies for hardship allowance: Mustafa's 24-hour shopping doesn't allow visitors a wink of sleep.
But they do manage to sign memorandums of understanding (MoUs). Four junketing chief ministers each notched up MOUs worth more than a billion dollars one year. Thank heavens, the agreements had no penalty clause for non-fulfilment, for nothing has been heard of them since. But the enriching experience gave the signatories a better understanding of their country. Kipling might have written "what do they know of India who only India know." No doubt Karnataka's legislators returned from their peregrinations with a heightened awareness of illegal mining by the rich and powerful, the state's water shortage, 20 per cent unemployment and other challenges.
In fact, it should be mandatory for Lok Sabha aspirants to declare how many trips they plan to make at public expense. Sitting members should be disqualified if they haven't made any.