I've just gotten out of the bath and haven't even dried myself properly when the infernal cellphone invades my personal space.
It's a number I don't recognise, but I take the call nevertheless, half expecting it to be from one of those annoying PR executives. But no, this time it's from my banker -- at least that is what the caller will have me believe. The conversation that follows is mostly in Hindi, and what you read below is as precise a translation as I can deliver.
HE: Sir, I am so-and-so from XYZ Bank. This is a verification call that will enable us to give you a new chip-based debit card in lieu of the one you are currently holding. The last four digits of your savings account number are 6878, right?
ME: That's right
HE: And your address is so-and-so, right? (He rattles it off with great speed and accuracy)
ME: Correct
HE: We need to verify some details that will help us protect your account.
ME: (Sigh) Such as?
HE: What is your mother's maiden name? (This guy must be a real novice, to think he can fish out such personal information from me)
ME: (Sounding irritated) Why do you want to know?
HE: Sir, please try to understand, this is for your own good. (How patronising)
ME: Why should I believe you?
HE: Sir believe me, I am so-and-so from the Lower Parel branch of your bank.
ME: Really? Who do you know there?
(He rattles off a few names, and I realise I have asked him a stupid question, simply because I know just two or three people in the branch and there is no way I can verify his statement without disconnecting the phone)
ME: That's okay, but this is too personal
HE: Alright, sir, can you give me your PAN number?
ME: Why? You don't have it? Your branch has a photocopy. Why don't you ask them? (I'm beginning to enjoy this)
HE: (Exasperated) Sir, please, I know your PAN number. But I need for YOU to tell me so I know that it is you.
ME: So who were you speaking to all this while?
HE: Sir, please....
ME: Can I meet you at the branch? Will make things a lot easier. The two of us can even catch up with my relationship manager.
HE: Sir, I am calling from a cellphone. If I were calling from the branch, don't you think I'd be using the landline and saving on my phone costs? (Hey, this guy is smarter than I thought)
ME: Okay, Okay. The last two characters of my PAN card are 2B.
HE: (Exasperated) I need the full number sir
ME: But, I've given you the last two digits. Compare them with the 'xeroxed' (sic) version of my PAN card
HE: Never mind sir, can you please give me your date of birth? (Doesn't give up, does he? Glutton for punishment)
(Now this is my ONIDA moment, I decide to pull a fast one on him)
ME: Okay, can I give it to you in DD-MM-YYYY format?
HE: Okay.
ME: Please note down. (there is a pause)
HE: Tell me sir
ME: It's 29021965
HE: Thank you so much, sir. We will now process your new debit card, which should reach you in seven working days (as if I didn't know)
I hang up with a chuckle. If he's intelligent enough --and I'm betting he isn't -- he'll understand he's been had even before he tries punching in my 'DOB' -:)
It's a number I don't recognise, but I take the call nevertheless, half expecting it to be from one of those annoying PR executives. But no, this time it's from my banker -- at least that is what the caller will have me believe. The conversation that follows is mostly in Hindi, and what you read below is as precise a translation as I can deliver.
HE: Sir, I am so-and-so from XYZ Bank. This is a verification call that will enable us to give you a new chip-based debit card in lieu of the one you are currently holding. The last four digits of your savings account number are 6878, right?
Also Read
(I've already latched on to his game, but I decide to play along)
ME: That's right
HE: And your address is so-and-so, right? (He rattles it off with great speed and accuracy)
ME: Correct
HE: We need to verify some details that will help us protect your account.
ME: (Sigh) Such as?
HE: What is your mother's maiden name? (This guy must be a real novice, to think he can fish out such personal information from me)
ME: (Sounding irritated) Why do you want to know?
HE: Sir, please try to understand, this is for your own good. (How patronising)
ME: Why should I believe you?
HE: Sir believe me, I am so-and-so from the Lower Parel branch of your bank.
ME: Really? Who do you know there?
(He rattles off a few names, and I realise I have asked him a stupid question, simply because I know just two or three people in the branch and there is no way I can verify his statement without disconnecting the phone)
ME: That's okay, but this is too personal
HE: Alright, sir, can you give me your PAN number?
ME: Why? You don't have it? Your branch has a photocopy. Why don't you ask them? (I'm beginning to enjoy this)
HE: (Exasperated) Sir, please, I know your PAN number. But I need for YOU to tell me so I know that it is you.
ME: So who were you speaking to all this while?
HE: Sir, please....
ME: Can I meet you at the branch? Will make things a lot easier. The two of us can even catch up with my relationship manager.
HE: Sir, I am calling from a cellphone. If I were calling from the branch, don't you think I'd be using the landline and saving on my phone costs? (Hey, this guy is smarter than I thought)
ME: Okay, Okay. The last two characters of my PAN card are 2B.
HE: (Exasperated) I need the full number sir
ME: But, I've given you the last two digits. Compare them with the 'xeroxed' (sic) version of my PAN card
HE: Never mind sir, can you please give me your date of birth? (Doesn't give up, does he? Glutton for punishment)
(Now this is my ONIDA moment, I decide to pull a fast one on him)
ME: Okay, can I give it to you in DD-MM-YYYY format?
HE: Okay.
ME: Please note down. (there is a pause)
HE: Tell me sir
ME: It's 29021965
HE: Thank you so much, sir. We will now process your new debit card, which should reach you in seven working days (as if I didn't know)
I hang up with a chuckle. If he's intelligent enough --and I'm betting he isn't -- he'll understand he's been had even before he tries punching in my 'DOB' -:)