Love, yoga and sound of silence to help the Corona bereaved live life again

There are many courses and apps to help those dealing with the grief and guilt of losing loved ones bounce back. While some are free, masterclasses and courses cost between Rs 2,000 and Rs 20,000

One devastating impact of the pandemic is the damage inflicted on the mental health of those who have lost a loved one, colleague or someone else from their social circle. Death, of course, is an extreme. Even the incessant flow of negative news in print and electronic the past year, replete with gory pictures and often uncensored footage can play havoc with the psychology.

A loss at the personal level is most damaging and forces one to start almost from scratch, and reorganise one's life. It’s a process with no timeline and each of us will experience it differently.

Says psychiatrist Dr Samir Parikh, Director, Fortis National Mental Health Program, Fortis Healthcare: “Grief is very personal and every individual responds to it in his or her unique way. For many, it will initially bring a sense of denial or numbing feeling often accompanied by mood swings. The key to resolving grief lies in an individual's support systems--friends, family, colleagues--so that he doesn't feel he is in it all by himself.”

Many will go through stages of grief such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance with varying intensity during their grieving process. However, accommodating these feelings and acknowledging them is the first step towards overcoming them.

Says Dr Kedar Tilwe, Consultant Psychiatrist, Fortis Hospital-Mulund and Hiranandani Hospital, Vashi: “Allowing yourself time to heal is important. It is also fine to cry, or lean on loved ones if you're overwhelmed. Try to establish a daily routine and pace yourself back into normal life as soon as you feel confident. But if you find it hard to resume daily life or continue to feel  emotionally overwhelmed, or just need to talk about the loss, reach out for professional help immediately.”

Grief is a choice

Says BK Shivani, Senior Rajyoga teacher, spiritual guide and mentor, “Grief is an optional emotion that you create. Even at the time of losing someone, you can be calm and stable; you can be the power and the pillar of the house, taking charge of everybody and empowering others, while also understanding the reality of life and trying to accept it.”

She says there are two things one needs to separate: one is the person leaving, the other is one's life without that person. We are usually more concerned about the latter--our pain, our vacuum. But the moment we start thinking about the departed soul, we will behave differently. 

Her mantra? Energise your mind with good thoughts. Sister Shivani strongly recommends watching, reading and listening to something very pure and powerful in order to take charge of your life and heal your mind. She advises prayer, meditation, and bhajans playing at home to generate purity and positivity.

Investing in healing therapies

Music, meditation, chanting, deep levels of silence, breathing, mindfulness sessions-all these help a great deal in coping with sorrow. There are a whole lot of apps and websites for emotional and mental wellbeing such as Let's Meditate, Wysa, PinkyMind, YourDost, Mindhouse, Now&Me, Emotionally.in, Buddhify, and Evergreen Club. You can also attend classes conducted by The Art of Living, Isha Foundation, Deepak Chopra Foundation and Brahma Kumaris on spiritual and holistic healing.

If you have never done any of this before, start your journey just by practising a little bit of silence everyday. Its a technique Rajan Navani, Founder of ThinkRight.me, will vouch for. He claims app, which has an extensive library of self-care and self-healing programmes, has seen a spike in both, subscriptions and engagement. 

Says Navani: “People spending 10-12 minutes earlier are now spending at least 20 minutes on average. Our endeavour is to change the seed, the thought, from which the entire cycle of karmic action and reaction emanates. We've all been taught not to tell lies--the thrust has always been on speech and action. But even before you lie, what you need to tackle is the idea or thought that prompted you to tell a lie. We believe that if you can go to that very source of thought and be able to manage that, it will bring about a radical transformation in your life.”

There are a whole lots of apps out there, addressing issues as diverse as psychotherapy, self-help and even sexual weakness. Most of these use techniques such as meditation, online yoga and remote counselling and aren't expensive, starting price of Rs 300 or thereabouts. 

If you aren't able to overcome your grief over time, you can seek professional help. Says Deekshaa Athwani, Clinical Psychologist, Fortis Hospital, Mulund, “Bereavement therapy is ideal for anyone experiencing grief due to the loss of a loved one. Your therapist will help you with getting in touch with your feelings, accepting the loss, working through guilt if there is any and more. The number of sessions can be discussed with your therapist. It usually depends on what you and your therapist feel you need.” 

The goal of bereavement intervention is to facilitate the grieving process. There are listening circles, self–help groups and bereavement support groups that aid the bereaved person along with individual therapy. The fee charged by the psychologist and the psychiatrist may range from Rs 1,000-2,500 per session.

Then, of course, there are courses run by celebrated gurus such as BK Shivani, Sri Sri Ravishankar, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev and Deepak Chopra, among others. Depending on what you are looking for, you could end up spending absolutely nothing at one end, as many of the courses are free, while others are priced in a range of Rs 2,000-20,000.

The guilt trip 

People have been reeling under different types of guilt over the loss of loved one. Says Delhi-based banker Tejinder Bawa, who attended office till financial year closing: “I brought the virus home and transmitted it to my parents who did not survive.” Then there is Survivor’s guilt--why couldn't I have gone instead. Experts say these are some of the most natural human reactions. 

These will be there for a while and gradually settle. The only way to deal with guilt is to do things for others. Besides, it’s important to stick to Covid-appropriate behaviour – that is also an act of compassion and positivity, part from being a social responsibility. 

Table: Self-care and self-healing apps and websites during Covid times

Apps/Website	Description	Application	Pricing
Let's Meditate	Guided meditation; no sign-up policy, no ads; has guided meditation tracks	Mental health, meditation, sleep disorder	Funded through user donations
Wysa	Uses AI chatbot that leverages evidence-based cognitive-behavioural techniques (CBT) to make the users feel heard; available on iOS devices	Mental health, stress, chat therapy, meditation, mindfulness exercises	Personal therapist sessions priced at Rs 1,496 a week, Rs 1,247 a month, Rs 8,983 a quarter
PinkyMind	Online emotional counselling platform, remote counsellors and therapist; offers CBT, integrated holistic therapy; free certified therapist consultations in minutes upon request For paid users, it offers video call options as well	Psychotherapy, yoga, mental health, self-help, remote counsellors, sexual wellness	Consultation plans ranging from Rs 398 to Rs 1,995; other services free

Mindhouse Combines yoga, meditation, and nutrition for issues related to women's health, daily wellbeing, chronic illnesses, and mental health Mental health, meditation, nutrition, yoga Offers subscription quarterly (Rs 398) or annually (Rs 698) ThinkRight.me Wide range of solutions with a three-pronged philosophy of Think Right, Do Right and Live Right, to help users reprogramme the mind  Positive thinking, self-care, well-being, spirituality Rs 500 annual subscription with access to all features Emotionally.in Online counselling, therapy, coaching and emotional health training platforms designed and created by psychologists, psychiatrists, coaches, counsellors and technology leaders. Caters to large companies as well Mental health, well-being, depression, anxiety, stress, emotional health Pricing based on client’s requirement Buddhify Over 200 meditations, wide range of experienced teachers for mental wellness Mental health, anxiety, self-help Available on both Android and iOS (In-app purchases available), Website at 

Rs 250 and Rs 363, respectively

Evergreen Club For senior citizens, has new ways of social interaction while at home; has been curated keeping in mind both, physical and mental health of the elderly  Well-being, meditation, yoga, Home Zumba, acupressure Pay per sessions services, ranging from Rs 34-375

Source: TechSci Research

Table: Masterclasses and Courses in spiritual, emotional and mental wellbeing

Course	Spiritual gurus	Organisation	Fee (Rs)
Anxiety & stress helpline, Immunity enhancement programmme, Covid recovery programme, Post-Covid rehabilitation	Sri Sri Ravi Shankar	The Art of Living	Free
Workshop to get rid of anxiety & sleep disorders	Sri Sri Ravi Shankar	The Art of Living	3,500
Online Sahaj Samadhi Dhyana Yoga	Sri Sri Ravi Shankar	The Art of Living	2,000
Online Meditation & Breath Workshop

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar The Art of Living 2,000 Sri Sri Yoga Level-2 Sri Sri Ravi Shankar The Art of Living 3,000

Yoga for Respiratory Health, Yoga for Immunity, Yoga for Covid Times, Peace, Health

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev Isha Foundation Free Raja Yoga Meditation, Inner Stability for unpredictable times B K Shivani Brahma Kumaris Free

Chopra Meditation Foundations

Deepak Chopra The Chopra Foundation 21,689

Creating Peace from the Inside Out

Deepak Chopra Chopra App  3,638

7 Days to Relieve Stress, Anxiety/ Restful Sleep

Deepak Chopra Chopra App 1,818

Source: TechSci Research