Vulnerable and afraid, a 16-year-old boy sat on the floor of his home in rural eastern China and tried to hack off his genitals with a scalpel, an act of desperation against a body he did not want.
Too scared to talk to family in a society that still classifies transgender people as having a "mental illness", instead he attempted surgery on himself after watching online tutorials of the procedure.
He wasn't able to go through with it and stopped after the first painful cut -- but he didn't go to the hospital or tell anyone what he had done.
Now aged 23, that boy identifies as Alice, and concedes it was a dangerous, potentially fatal, move.
"I was desperate and scared," Alice told AFP, adding: "It was this feeling in my stomach that I had to get it over and done with."
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