Couples too similar to each other less likely to last: study

Opposites do attract! Couples who are too similar to each other, both physically and in personality, are less likely to have a long lasting relationship, a new study has claimed. Personality experts found the secret to a lasting relationship is not being too close to each other but as close as makes you happy - even if that means being very different. Couples who seem to agree with each other all the time may find they are actually too close for comfort, found the study by Columbia University. Researchers conducted three years of psychological profiles on 732 adult men and women who were questioned on their relationships, levels of intimacy, overall satisfaction, closeness to their partner, how often they thought of breaking up, commitment and depression, the 'Daily Mail' reported. How close they are to their partner was measured in a test commonly used by psychologists which is called 'Inclusion of Other in Self'. It looks at how much two people share personality traits, values, identity and points of view among other aspects of their life together. The couples with the strongest relationships were those that were neither the closest nor the most distant but somewhere in between. These couples knew they were not as close as they could be but they were happier this way, said lead author Professor David Frost. "It's not how close you feel that matters most, it's whether you are as close as you want to be, even if that's really not close at all," he said. "People who yearn for a more intimate relationship and people who crave more distance are equally at risk of having a problematic relationship," he added. "If you want to experience your relationship as healthy and rewarding, it's important that you find a way to attain your idealised level of closeness with your partner," Frost said. Feeling either too close or not close enough will see a relationship weaken and eventually break up, he added. The concept could be extended beyond romantic relationships and into those between parents and children, co-workers or simply friends, he said. The study was published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.