She was speaking at a panel discussion titled 'Be Bold For A Change', which is also the theme for this year's International Women's Day.
"Patriarchy is not limited to a certain sex. It resides in all of us. There are privileges that come with being a man. That's patriarchy for us. It's a mindset. It is not just in men.
"Whenever we have an informed discussion on the subject, it is not a war between the sexes. It is a war against the mentality. And women are very much part of patriarchy. We often see women berating each other. It's the patriarchal thought that make us judge each other. So we have to fight that," the BJP leader said.
"Indoctrination like 'diamonds are a woman's best friend', 'way to a man's heart goes from his stomach' are commonly accepted. And the blame is upon us because we accept these. Such stereotypes need to be broken," Ilmi said.
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The session was also attended by theatre artist Sita Raina, fashion designer Madhu Jain, entrepreneur Nilofer Currimbhoy and Kuchipudi dancer Bhavana Reddy.
Seconding Ilmi, Currimbhoy elaborated upon how women are "responsible for the way they are", since they have allowed others to "control their lives".
"Ownership of your life is really important. I think most of our lives are owned by somebody else. And we have given them that permission," Currimbhoy said, calling Indian women to "be their own owners".
Jain also pointed out that due to the patriarchal mindset the general response of men towards women is always different from how they react to a man in authority.