The 45-year-old 'Booty' singer, who announced her separation from Anthony in 2011, wrote she suffered from a panic attack just before a photoshoot and she blurted out that she wanted a divorce, reported the Daily Mirror.
"As I sat there getting made up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe... I became consumed with anxiety. What was happening to me? I leaped from my chair and said to my dear manager Benny Medina, 'Benny, something is happening! I feel like I'm going crazy.' My mom was there and she rushed to my side too.
She also wrote that people thought her life was great with a shining career and a happy family but only she knew that her marriage was falling apart.
"It was out. The thing I feared more than anything in the world. I collapsed into their arms and began to sob. Anybody looking from the outside in would have thought my life was great. I had a husband and two beautiful children. What people didn't know was that life really wasn't that good. My relationship was falling apart and I was terrified," she said.