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A meme for every mood

One the most interesting aspects of the topic at hand is the pronunciation of the word itself

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Ashish Sharma
Last Updated : Aug 27 2016 | 12:06 AM IST
Richard Dawkins coined the word "meme" in his 1976 bestseller, The Selfish Gene. The word means a packet of information that spreads from person to person within a culture. The term has since been grabbed by the internet to mean an image, video, piece of text spreading from IP address to IP address, brain to brain, like a biological virus. Thus, memes fan out to reproduce, mutate, and spread, but it can't do so without a host, without a fresh, pristine mind to burrow into.

One the most interesting aspects of the topic at hand is the pronunciation of the word itself. Since meme is used primarily OTI (over the internet), it never gets barked aloud. Thus, very few people know how it's pronounced. Some possibilities include: 1) meeeeem (if you have a high, squeaky, irritating voice); 2) mee mee (if you are stupid); 3) maim (if you are violent); 4) may may (if you are a sheep); 5) mem (laziest pronunciation); 6) meh meh (if you have an air of unconcern or indifference); 7) meh ma (only if you talk posh and belong to a high social class). You may add sounds and send them over to my email address below. And, please send in the correct pronunciation. Logically, only one of these pronunciations can be correct: you need only a handful of brain cells to tell that; but, pointing out the correct pronunciation requires more bandwidth and, perhaps, an upgrade.

Most memes crawl out of a cesspool called 4chan.org, but you can't point to a single place of origin, as these are created using a complex system of pulleys and levers. Eventually, the meme leaps over the garden wall of 4chan, tumbles into the rest of the internet, and spreads mayhem on sites like YouTube, thanks to ample bandwidth and bored users.

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Here is an example of a meme I shamelessly copied-pasted from WhatsApp, explaining cows and capitalism.

Capitalism: You have two cows, you sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, you sell them again.

Communism: Two cows, state forces you to milk both, takes all, gives you trickle.

American capitalism: Two cows, sell one, buy bull, force other to produce the milk of four cows, hire analyst to explain why the cow dropped dead.

Australian capitalism: Two cows, you wrestle them.

British capitalism: Two cows, both mad.

Cuban capitalism: Two cows, can't do anything there, so swim to Florida.

Chinese capitalism: Two cows, 300 milk them.

Disney capitalism: Two cows, they dance and sing.

Japanese capitalism: Two cows, redesigned to create Cowkimon, sequel to Pokemon.

Swiss capitalism: 5,000 cows, none belongs to you.

French capitalism: Two cows. You go on strike because you want three.

German capitalism: Two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

I remember this two-cow joke appeared on the internet in the late 1990s and quickly mutated into its modern, virulent form. Consider another educational meme that explains capitalism as a system of replacing the lower case letter with an upper case one, thus helping lower-class letters become upper-class letters. Similarly, commanism (communism) is explained as putting commas in the middle of a sentence, so both parts appear equal: commanism does not allow one part to outweigh another.

At this point, your brain will probably have developed enough cells and antibodies to realise how stupid the meme is. However, experts have long sought to know why a more general immunity to memes eludes the general population. They had recently developed a vaccine against memes, offered at pharmacies around winter, when it is too cold for many to stay outside, so many stay inside, wasting time on computers, catching memes and other illnesses. For a time, the vaccine worked. However, people now no longer need to be indoors to contract and spread memes: smartphones allow web access anywhere, and put the intellectual health of the population at risk. News update: Wikipedia, widely seen as a quantum leap in humour, is the latest to join the meme crusade.
ashish.sharma@bsmail.in

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First Published: Aug 27 2016 | 12:06 AM IST

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