Two 47-year-old men — both in need of anger management therapy. Now that Shah Rukh Khan’s meltdown has reached sports-stadium proportions, it might be prudent to take a look at some of Charlie Sheen’s more extreme interviews on YouTube.
No one is saying that Khan is any where near Sheen’s manic levels. But the signs are alarming. Sheen too, at the height of his lunacy and ranting, was one of the most powerful and wealthy men in showbiz and as loquacious as our ruling Badshah. Watching him spew abuse, make bizarre claims and vent anger and frustration at his colleagues and interviewers I began to wonder if the connection between unbridled money, fame and power, and frustration and anger is shorter than we like to believe.
The lives of the rich, famous and powerful are more bizarre than anything you and I can ever imagine. To live day in and day out in the spotlight, to be surrounded by sycophants and yes-men, to be afforded attention and admiration and entitlement wherever you go, and yet to carry all the baggage of anxiety, fragilities and insecurity that comes with human existence is not an easy task. It makes for enormous pressure — and often — anger and frustration. The American Psychological Association website quotes psychologist Charels Spielberger as saying, “Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage, [it] can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry with a specific person [such as a coworker or supervisor] or event [a traffic jam, a canceled flight], or worrying or brooding about your personal problems could cause your anger. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings.” It goes on to say, “The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive — not aggressive — manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.”
That Shah Rukh Khan was angry at the highhanded behavior of officious MCA personnel is understandable, that he might even have been a tad high-spirited is excused, but that he allowed himself to be provoked and lost his cool in public (and in front of his own kids) is sad.
Because the truth about anger is that no one is as destroyed by it as the person who feels it. The MCA officials, the security watchmen, the bystanders will all soon walk away from the events of Wednesday night; in a week even the media that’s profited from this escapade will turn to a new “breaking story”; hopefully as the days go by, the children who were present and exposed to those angry words and deeds will begin to regard the events as a distant memory.
Ultimately it will only be Shah Rukh who will be left to face his inner demons and the public loss of cool that they caused him.
“Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive,” psychologists say. “ The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.”
How will SRK deal with his anger issues? And how sympathetic will the public be to him as he tries? Is there any among us who has not experienced that blinding all consuming rage at some thing or some one? Perhaps it’s time we admitted that we are all human and very vulnerable. Superstars included.
Malavika Sangghvi is a Mumbai-based writer
malavikasangghvi@hotmail.com
