Flight of semi-fancy

Mystery Guest

Kingfisher Airlines could do a bit more to remove minor glitches.

IT 302 from Mumbai to Delhi is on time, the cab has been late, so...sorry, but there are only middle row seats available. Too bad, I think, but at least Kingfisher Airlines has personal TVs, so the entertainment should keep you going for the duration of the flight, aisle seat or not.

But the breakfast show being aired on the news channel is three weeks old. The comedy show is downmarket. Whoever did the channel selection for the airline must have a very poor view of those who fly the domestic skies. All this after Yana Gupta's phoney accent...almost enough to make me pass over breakfast.

But am I glad I don't. The cabin crew is solicitous. The corporate type doodling numbers on his laptop doesn't want breakfast. The airhostess coaxes him to have just a little, so he settles for the portion of cut fruit. Soon, she's back with a larger bowl of fruit for him. That's service.

My own breakfast tray has food for the soul "" omelette, chicken sausages, but a really, really cold croissant to go with it. The coffee though is good.

The fruit lover on the aisle seat (lucky chap) appears to have his finger constantly jammed on the switch to summon the stewardess. He wants a napkin, a glass of water, a newspaper, another napkin. She provides them genie-like without a furrow marring her forehead.

The seat reclines comfortably, and even in economy with little leg room, perhaps the seat ergonomics keep you comfortable...or at least enough to doze off. The inevitable delay later, the flight is ready to descend, so the airhostess is back to ensure the seats are upright and the folding table stowed away. I switch on the TV one last time, but the same programmes are looping back, and the only interesting thing is the flight and status indication channel, so I know our cruising speed, the temperature outside, and the trajectory of our flight carefully marked over a map.

But, oh, did I mention "" the TV screen is grotty, the way dhabha tables are after Chotu has wiped a dirty, damp rag across the surface. Better housekeeping, somebody?

Score: Two points taken for dirty TV screen, another for the cold croissant, but the hostess gets one extra point for personalised service. (8/10.)