Fringe benefit tax

Can Dr Batra give me my hair back?

Deep in the bowels of the homoeopathic superstate that is Dr Batra's Positive Health Clinic now rests a picture of ignominy. The picture is of this correspondent's scalp in a state of revealing undress "" a skin shot unworthy of Fashion Week. It is a "before" shot of the kind that often figures in Dr Batra's advertisements paired with a much nicer "after" shot.

Being young and balding, I am a prime candidate for Dr Batra, whose chain of 50 clinics deals primarily with long-term ailments such as hair loss, skin trouble, arthritis, asthma, stress and anxiety.

Calling to set up an appointment is a little tricky. The clinics in Delhi open only at noon, and phone calls go unanswered until then. Once you get through, you will be told to call the call centre for an appointment.

In the waiting area of the Panchsheel Enclave centre, covert observation revealed not one balding man "" patient or employee. Is this a conspiracy to defeat scepticism and tempt customers like me? Probably not.

Sitting across from Dr Richa, I told her how I was losing my head. She ran her hands through my hair in a quick check (this was strange), and examined my scalp under ultraviolet light.

The upshot? I was at Stage 5 of seven stages, and in two years I would be entirely bald except for a professorial fringe. This is classic male pattern baldness.

When Dr Richa heard that I wasn't as much embarrassed as curious about the cause (it's not genetic, for sure) and keen to stop further thinning, she was taken aback. "But you should be embarrassed," she said, adding that "it's a disease, didn't you know that?" I didn't; I had hoped it was merely a "condition".

She explained it all very nicely, her glibness suggesting the numbers of her patients. Most balding men pick up the gist of this information anyway. In cases like mine, she said, an excess of testosterone (aha!) is to blame.

I would have to act soon to keep what I still have "" although there wouldn't be a fresh crop. The solution: a one-year course of homoeopathic medicine, both oral and topical, with diet advice, at Rs 7,900. Depending on the results, the full course would last three to five years. The consultation was brisk and cost me nothing, and no pressure was exerted.

Score: 6.5/10 for easy access, no pushiness and no tall claims; on the other hand, there were mild scare tactics.

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