Happy now?

@RANDOM

THE PROBLEM WITH friends is that even when they ask the right question, they don't want the right answer. "How do I find happiness online?" is a perfect question. What, after all, is the point of Facebook, Google, naked pictures of Paris Hilton and the (minuscule) rest of cyberspace if you can't address one of the central issues facing humanity "" where do we find happiness?

I was prepared to see whether Google would succeed where generations of philosophers failed, but it turns out all she wanted was a list of online dating sites that a) weren't populated by weirdos, sickos and downright psychopaths, and b) worked.

Discovering the secret of happiness online is much easier. The first few happiness gurus I accessed had two things in common. They burbled annoyingly on and on about the joys of Positive Thinking, and forced into fallback position, they had a two-word mantra guaranteed to cure all ails, from postpartum depression to scrofula: do yoga.

The logical question, once you've waded through the innumerable merchandising sites that confuse "do yoga" with "buy yoga", is "" which method? Ashtanga, Iyengar, Hatha, Power? Some of the best guides out there are the blogs written by yoga teachers, especially Blenda Plakana's crisp and funny Grounding Thru The Sit Bones. Yoga Movement offers a very useful list of links covering everything from "absolutely ashtanga" to "a real yoga sandal site". And if you don't know your Downward Dog from your Overpadded Ass, look up the posefinder search at Yoga Journal. Finish with a "laughter yoga cruise", or check laughing yoga out "" at a safe distance "" via YouTube videos.

http://www.yogamovement.com/links/general.html: Comprehensive general links to everything yoga

http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/: Use the very easy "posefinder" search to look for the perfect Downward Dog.

http://groundingthruthesitbones.blogspot.com/: Blenda Plakan demonstrates that yoga teachers make better bloggers

http://www.laughteryoga.org/: Offers laughter yoga training, discussions, cruises "" and smiley faces

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=laughing+yoga&search=Search: The YouTube Laughing Yoga Greatest Hits. Say cheese.

AT THEAuthentic Happiness website, I discovered a few things. One, the science of happiness is now considered a respectable branch of psychology "" the idea that you can, and have to, work at being happy is catching on. Two, judging by their online optimism test, I am Eeyore. Three was that meditation might be a practical way to find, if not happiness, at least temporary relief. And four, while you can get Om and/or Rune Tattoos to increase your total sum of happiness, if the tattoo turns septic, expect your midriff to suffer from very bad karma.

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/: Authentic Happiness: committed to the serious business of joy

http://www.how-to-meditate.org/why-learn-to-meditate.htm and http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/meditation_practice.html:  Excellent explanations, posture tips and suggestions on Buddhist meditation practices

http://www.kabbalah.com/k/index.php/p=meditation: Kabbalah meditation "" may the blessings of the Kohens shower upon you, courtesy Flash player.

http://www.tao-of-tattoos.com/spiritual-tattoos.html:  n which it is explained why the Bible is anti-tattoo: "Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD" (Leviticus).

BUT WHAT IF none of this works, if The World Database of Happiness were to tell us that we have officially run out of supplies? You'll have to fall back on that eternal human standby "" contemplate your navel. Or someone else's belly button, come to that.

http://worlddatabaseofhappiness.eur.nl/: The World Database, where happiness gets the bureaucracy it deserves

http://www.flickr.com/groups/36521964267@N01/: Flickr's collection of Navel Gazing pictures

http://www.feargod.net/fluff.html: Graham Barker's navel lint collection page. The pictures confirm that this indefatigable soul does not store his lint in situ, but, thankfully for us, in glass jars.