Have a nice day. Really

@RANDOM

One of the first things the Net revived was the gentle art of whining, on usenet groups, then forums, then blogs. But typically, what you got was either the Big Corp perspective or the customer's perspective "" the average employee who serviced clients (in any number of ways) was cut out of the conversation.

If you've ever wanted to know how to get into a Manhattan club or how to prevent your waiter from spitting into your soup, here are some of the more interesting blogs.

Scobleizer
(http://scoble.weblogs .com)

Robert Scoble is a Microsoft employee (job description: tech evangelist) and a key blogger on tech and geek stuff. Most companies automatically dooce blogging employees (to get dooced"" to get fired for blogging about work, verb derived from Heather Graham's popular blog, dooce.com, after she was famously fired for bitching out her boss online). But Scoble's free to trash Bill Gates' products, which was a smart decision from Microsoft""he has higher readership because he's seen as a reliable source rather than a company stooge.

Waiter
Rant (http://waiterrant.net)

You know those people who need to prove their superiority by interrogating the sommelier in depth about the wine list before ordering Diet Coke? Who fight about the cheque that they secretly have no intention of paying? Point them to this blog, written by a waiter with serious attitude.

He confirms one of my favourite myths about chefs and waiters "" ie, they get propositioned a lot by women, and they're always happy to say yes. Here he is on ordering: "Don't take forever.... This is not life and death stuff. It's only f***ing FOOD. Look where it ends up in 24 hours."

Agent 007
(http://agentoo7.blogspot.com)

This publishing industry insider stays anonymous while handing out really useful advice about how to get your book published (tip: write it first). "The query letters I fall in love with are the ones with the original title, a wonderfully brief paragraph that tells me exactly what the book is about, and a snappy paragraph that tells me who the author is.

...Suddenly, the imaginary book is on the shelf, magically filling in a gap that was waiting for just the right book. I can see it there!...If the author can do that in the span of a three or four paragraph query letter, I can't wait to see more."

Belle de Jour
(www.belledejour-uk.blogspot.com)

The Belle is an Internet legend: a working woman in the sex services area, who can discuss Martin Amis while taking care of her client's needs and tell you how to build a sex swing. Here she is on how to spot a working girl: "In a world of twelve-year-olds in sexy boots and nans in sparkly minidresses, the surest way to tell the prostitute walking into a hotel at Heathrow is to look for the lady in the designer suit. Fact."

Clublife
(http://standingonthebox.blogspot.com)

The Doorman is a bouncer at one of New York's clubs who has adrenalin flowing out of his keyboard while he tells you how to cross the velvet rope.

Drunk and abusive friends of the manager get tossed just like everyone else; if you don't dress right, forget it; and while the bouncer can be bribed, he can only be insulted at your peril. And don't even try getting up on stage with him if you're not a hot chick.

The interesting thing is that every industry is developing its stars. Mad Max Perkins, an editor in the UK, used to dole out great insider advice at Book Angst. But my favourite tip comes from Yuhu Stewardess.

For the giggling couple I met on my last flight, who were making out in their seats? It doesn't matter if you think you're hidden under a blanket; the air hostess saw you. And so did the person across the aisle in 11B.