How to be a primo bartender

THIS ONE'S NOT just for the professionals. It is for all of us who enjoy entertaining, being great hosts, offering a well-stocked bar and having friends return because we give them such a rollicking time.

But often, with a bar/lounge, it is a really great bartender who will keep patrons coming back for more. Many a time have I found myself uncontrollably reaching for much more than a mandatory tip. Let me point out what prompts me to do so.

Be attentive without being over friendly. Smokers love a bartender who will rush over with the lighter quicker than their dates can. However, if you see a woman sitting by herself sipping her solitary daiquiri, look for clues to gauge if she'd like to be chatted up. Spare her your witty repartee if you think she'd like to be left alone.

Exude energy. Its about how you pitch it; even the most cautious drinkers will try anything once, provided you pitch it right. And as the evening progresses, you will have yourself an increasingly willing audience, giving you carte blanche for keeping them entertained and watered down.

Get yourself an engaging alter ego. 'M' (I didn't miss the James Bond allusion either) from the Red Light bar in downtown Mumbai would always provide a house treat "" a special shot for the day to match my dress. It was always free, and consumed unconventionally "" via test tubes, syringes, pea shooters, anything. A Dubai bar snapped him up soon after.

Throwing bottles around and somersaulting while mixing a drink won't make up for ineptitude at bar principles, but it helps engage your audience.

As Stewart Saunders, a Brisbane-based Smirnoff bartending trainer says, "Exhibition flair is the next dimension in bartending." Saunders even recommends stocking up on problem solving puzzles and matchstick games to keep customers entertained.

Tip: You can make almost any drink flame if you first heat the liquor in a spoon. If you hold the spoon steady, the vaporised alcohol should collect above the spoon, allowing you to light the alcohol fumes. Then, you can carefully pour the flaming alcohol over the prepared recipe.

Develop an infallible memory. Form a collecion of permanent associations of faces with drinks. Design your own mnemonic systems. The bartenders at the famed Zodiac Grill at the Taj, Mumbai, are masters at this "" your drink will arrive just seconds after you've been seated.

Serve a drink with panache. Sloppiness will get you nowhere. Tip: If you smear a clean piece of wax paper over the top of a bottle, the wax will form a tighter seal and make the bottle less likely to drip.

Flaunt your weapons of mass destruction "" the bar tools "" with pride. And use them well. It is said that a well-equipped bar will stock 25 essential bar tools including a paring knife, citrus reamers, bottle sealers and an ice crusher among others.

Get garnishing right. There is almost nothing as impressive as decorating drinks appropriately. Technically, if what you add to a drink changes the way it tastes, then it is a garnish. If it is only for appearance, it is called garbage. Unfortunately, most people do not make this distinction.

Tip: For the traditional decoration of a Bloody Mary, you should cut as little as possible from the celery, leaving the leafy end above the level of the liquid while also leaving as much of the celery as possible to be chewed on. And ideally, green olives, the traditional martini garnish, should be served without pimento (the little red stuffing).

Hold the cocktail in the highest reverence. Mix with scientific precision. Dont think it ain't rocket science "" it could be. I am a cocktail purist and a big fan of classic cocktail art (no jello shots for me), but even if you experiment, do so with respect.

Be generous on the pours. No one likes a stingy bartender. But be prepared to escort high-spirited carousers home. Keep the number of a midnight taxi service handy at all times.

If it's a classic cocktail and it's not on your list, serve it anyway. Keep a cocktail handbook at all time and refer to it if necessary. Offer creative substitutes if you have to, but never say no! Of course, none of the above need necessarily apply to bartenders in a grimy shot-and-beer dive bar. That, for another day.

And oh. Drink responsibly but drink with style.