Lights, camera, action and click!

Dear Bhai,

I was wondering: what would it be like to earn $10,000 with concentration, luck and a mobile phone? You remember, I'd asked you to change that mobile phone of yours and get it upgraded to Nokia N90?

In other words, remember I'd asked you to save money and get a phone that had a camera facility? Well, now is your chance to thank me or better still, lend that phone to me.

You see, darling brother, Nokia and Discovery channel have together announced a partnership to declare open a contest that's called 'Discovery-Nokia mobile first-time filmmakers contest 2005'. Basically, the two companies want people like me (and of course a million others!) to try their hand at mobile filmmaking and participate in the contest.

Now, this competition is open to individuals who are 18 and above (you know how well I fit into this category) and to citizens of the following countries: Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand and India. (Okay, we're concerned with the India bit but just thought I'd let you know since you have so many friends.)

Coming back to the contest, brother dear, I hope it's convenient for you to part with your phone for a few days, especially since your sister thinks it's her big chance to fame, fortune and glory. Think about it. If I'm selected among the top 15 contestants (say touch-wood!) I'll get a chance to travel to Singapore to attend a workshop organised by Discovery Networks Asia and learn more about mobile film-making techniques.

As a deal, I promise to buy those DVDs that you've been yearning for. I could also hunt for the best deals in laptops and digital cameras in Singapore and (um! gulp!) buy you a remote-control car that after all these years of growing up (I still haven't figured out why) still manages to fascinate you.

Anyway, did I tell you what the topic of the contest is? Well, these guys (Nokia and Discovery) want us to send them a photo or a video (no longer than nine seconds) of an icon that best defines the values and hopes of our community.

Basically, the icon can be anything or anyone that conveys the importance and significance of a particular community.

Did you understand what I'm trying to say? Think about mum's cousin sister when she goes on incessantly on the Great-Indian-Value system when we talk about partying out during late nights.

Now, if I manage to capture her facial expressions on your mobile camera phone while she's talking to us, she'll be no less than an icon. I'm sure she'll be the prize winning entry and there'll be no stopping me from becoming a top-notch director.

Sometimes, I think I should slyly video-tape our neighbour, Mrs Sharma's gibberish on the phone. Y'know, the way she speaks to us about her daughter, mother-in-law, brother, sister-in-law, son's girl-friend and how they're invariably caught bunking college to watch some film "" that will be perfect for this contest.

C'mon, we've got to show the importance and significance of a particular community, and we all know how proudly Mrs Sharma and mum's cousin sister feel that the community is as-good-as-dead without them. There's just one problem, little brother, the video has to last not more than nine seconds and with these ladies, I think I'll need at least nine hours to direct a film on them.

Hey, I think dad's rickety car, that shop from where we stole orange candies, our hostel building, the park where you played cricket and failed miserably, could also make it to the list since all of these do convey something very significant too. What say you?

Since I'm leaving nothing to chance and keeping back-up plans ready for my big debut as Ms Mobile Director, would your girlfriend agree to act for my film? She's young, smart, successful and earns big bucks too. I think she would reflect the hopes and values of our community beautifully.

Though she can be a bit mean and downright insulting at times "" I'll never forget the way she commented on my hairstyle and my outfit when I met her at the last party "" I'm quite mature and I won't mix personal disputes with professional matters. I just hope she doesn't spend all her time dabbing make-up on her face for my nine-second-film. Trust your Ms Propah to waste all the time just dolling herself and delaying my project.

Hey, I have an idea. I think I should try and rope in one of the actors from the Indian film industry. A majority of them (or their body doubles) have been taped on video-enabled phones in such a controversial way that I'm sure they'd like to star in my good, clean film that will depict the wholesome values of our community.

So please, please lend me your phone for a few days. It's probably the first such contest in the world and I so badly want to be a part of it. The contest will close on September 4, 2005 and before that I've got to do something to get into the big league of the directors.

Ciao. 

THE HIGH LEAGUE
Who knows what your stint with short-filmmaking could lead to! To keep you motivated, here's a list of recent Oscar winners for best short film (live action): 2005

Wasp, directed by Andrea Arnold 2004

Two Soldiers, directed by Aaron Schneider 2003

Der er en yndig mand, directed by Martin-Strange Hansen 2002

The Accountant, directed by Ray McKinnon 2001

Quiero ser, directed by Florian Gallenberger