Of plots and live shots

TELLY VISION

While my fingers on the remote control flip channels on the television set, my head screams, "Everything on TV is a flop, flop flop." Okay, KBC II, or "KBC Dvitiya" as Mr Big B calls it, has made a comeback, but we still need time to see whether the programme can sustain its TRP ratings.

Meanwhile, more killings, attempts at murder and paralytic attacks on Ekta Kapoor serials continue. Take Kkusum, for instance. The original plot revolved around protagonist Kkusum, a middle-class Indian girl who works hard to keep the fires burning at home.

Now Kkusum has seen at least three different faces with the latest one being a vamp in disguise. Don't ask us how it's happened, but while the nice, docile lady has been abducted by goons, it's the bad lady who's making life hell for everyone around her. Make sense? No? Never mind, even we're at a loss to understand why the story has taken such a twist.

Jassi on Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin is dead. She's recently shed Neeta Lulla's designer outfits to serenade in plain, white outfits and became Ms Neha Shastri, a history and dramatics teacher in Nainital. It seems that our sweet, innocent girl was in a mood to sprint, hop and run and barely two hours before her wedding in Mumbai she did exactly that.

The original story attempted to highlight the apathy of the plain Jane's desi version Jassi as she steps into the glamorous world of fashion and falls in love with the company's CEO. She goes in for a complete makeover to become India's supermodel.

Now, it seems the serial has hit a dead end and suddenly we find Jassi cooling her heels in Nainital and acquiring a new name and identity. But what happens should the authorities ask her to show her ration card. Or to her bank accounts in Mumbai "" after all, she is also a company CEO?

And what's happened to all the designer clothes that she's left behind while running away from home? Or, for that matter, her cellphone, credit cards, school and college certificates that the Indian government can't seem to let you live without?

Tell ya, running away from home also requires a great deal of preparation but nutty serial-makers will never understand that.

If you thought only serials could make you bang your head against the wall, wait till you check out our news channels and some of the anchors who're in the spotlight.

Recently, on Star News, the anchor started talking animatedly about Aamir Khan and (I swear) broke into a song from one of the actor's earlier films. Her eyes danced, she flashed a Colgate smile, her face lit up "" and we were confused.

Was this a news channel or a drama-session-in-progress? But what was absolutely disgusting was when a news channel aired live snapshots of Govinda's family soaked in blood after a serious accident. We say, can't news be viewed without us having to see the TV screen splattered with blood and the news anchor bouncing up and down in his chair and shouting excitedly, "Oh! We have the live shots, we have the live shots"?

May better sense prevail on our telly soon. Amen.