Pounding out all that hate

I am going to kill your five-year-old son in the Philippines," read the latest message from Sweetie's tormentor. Hot tears rolled down her face.

The Filipina maid in Saudi Arabia had had a cyber relationship with an Armenian. But she broke up with him six months ago and never bothered to reply to his messages after that.

Perhaps he couldn't handle the anguish of being ignored - which is why he started sending furious messages to Sweetie. Sobbing, she told me how he wanted revenge. He was enraged and his every message showed that.

Sweetie is a victim of cyber-bullying.
 
Bullying is as old as mankind itself. The traditional techniques involved pushing, insulting and teasing. But bullying has changed significantly throughout history. The coming of oral language saw progress: bullies made biting remarks instead of actually biting. And the introduction of education led to more innovations. But the internet was the game-changer. It transformed many areas of society, including bullying. Social networks, chat-rooms and email revolutionised how people bullied one another. This led to the invention of the term "cyber-bullying".

Recently, I entered a Kolkata chatroom as Chingri (Bengali for shrimp). And an online mob fried me, for choosing Chingri as a username. It is not very hard to see the thrill of cyber-bullying - it has almost all the perks of normal bullying, plus you don't get caught.

I had a falling-out with my school friend when I was 13. After the incident, he tortured me over email for three years. We were so close to each other that he knew the answer to my email's security question. (A security question is used to confirm a person's identity in case he loses his email password.) So it didn't matter if I changed my password; he would break in by answering the security question, delete all my emails and leave behind cruel notes.

The worst part was the reminders that he wrote. Written in first person, they told me to kill myself.

I would be browsing my email account and the reminder would pop up: "Jump off the bridge." The reminders would always go off at midnight. I had a good imagination and could see myself on the bridge, looking at the water below.

Till today, I attract scary emails. Most are from a guy - they are all guys - who tells me he is smarter than me. I am sure he is not that school friend, otherwise he would have known of my learning disabilities in class and picked a higher target.

I also assume that he actually writes these messages, instead of cutting and pasting them from somewhere. However, some of my e-pals must be writing the same stuff to their targets.

What I can't figure out is where they get the time.

I actually do this for a living - this writing thing. But if I just wrote nasty messages to people all day, I would have to give up my job.

I might be inspired to write a column but I can't really see myself pounding out hate, calling people names and seeking eternal revenge. Even if I did, I would never send it.

I talked to a retired bully. Too old to bully people in public, he now bullies in cyberspace. "The most important reason to cyber-bully is anonymity," he says. But can it be rewarding if you can't see their facial expressions? "I would love to see their reactions. But isn't it that much better if you guess?" he says.

He points out that, in the history of bullying, there has never been a more concentrated population of prey in one place - the internet.

Whatever be the case, I do not approve of cyber-bullying, except when I do it myself.