They'll choose me, they'll choose me not...

YEAR-END SPECIAL

DEAR DIARY... A Ranji-playing nobody longs for a crack at the fluid opening slot.

January 8: This is great! The pampered national team has lost a series in South Africa which it should have won. Sehwag has been terrible all series. That ex-cricketer, who is seen more these days than when he played, said on TV that Karthik is only stop-gap. Will I get my chance now? The problem is that I am not sure if any of my innings was watched by a national selector, though one of them was present among the handful of spectators when I hit that third century of the season.

January 27: Where has this fellow Uthappa come from! He smacked 70 in 41 balls against the West Indies today. The saving grace is that Gambhir got a duck. Since we lost the game, I hope the axe falls on him.

February 17: Why does Sehwag get so many chances? He did make 46 against Sri Lanka today, but it was that ballistic 52 from Uthappa that won us the match and series. When they pick me, I hope to get at least half as many chances and not dropped after just one match.

April 28: I am glad I was not picked for the World Cup in the West Indies. What a terrible show! What a terrible tournament, long and tortuous. Someone called it a sorry tournament with a sorry end. That was apt. It started with a murder and, in the finals, Sri Lanka played the last three overs in near-darkness after the Aussies had already celebrated once. At home, this is not a good time to be a cricketer. Thankfully, I am only playing Ranji, which no one watches anyway. Even for me, cricket will not be the same again. Lara has retired. McGrath will not play any more. Inzy bhai is gone. Anil bhai will play only Test cricket. Add Sachin and Dravid to that list and that is pretty much the who's who of the last decade.

May 28: Another opportunity gone. Shastri managed the team in Bangladesh instead of Guru Greg, but the team was largely unchanged. Jaffer got a pair in the first Test, momentarily raising my hopes, but played really well in the second. Karthik was OK too. But what the hell! I could have played well against that team. Bottom line: I have no chance for England.

July 23: So Lara has joined ICL, the new league being set up by that fellow from Zee who has a mop of gray hair in front. Should I join if they contact me? The money will be good, but it is only a Twenty20 tournament. And BCCI will not consider me for the national team. Now that the Big Three are not going to the Twenty20 World Cup, maybe they will think of me.

September 14: Lord Bradman! Why has Rahul quit the captaincy? It can't be to concentrate on his batting. Plenty have managed both. There maybe some truth in the stories that he wasn't able to have his way with the selectors. Poor chap! Will he lose some endorsements? What about that one with Tiger Woods and all?

September 26: This open-bus ride through Mumbai was too much. It's only the Twenty20 World Cup these fellows have won. I mean, it was a good victory, especially as it came against Pakistan in the final. But the real world champion is Australia only. One thing is certain, cricket is back in India. No, actually international cricket is back. That Bengal-Mumbai Ranji final didn't really pack in the crowds. With the stadium's broken seats and dirty toilets, even the ones that came were more than expected.

November 8: Jumbo is Test captain. A Test century in England and now this! Late it maybe, but good things are happening to the fellow who has won us more matches than anyone else. Some say he is only a scapegoat to be sacrificed in Australia. Wait and see! Jumbo will do well in whatever he does. He is sincere, courageous and fair. Will he think of me?

December 27: Our latest opening combination of Jaffer and Rahul has failed. Both of them gone by the time we crawled to 31, which came in more than 21 overs. Sehwag is on tour but not in the playing eleven. Sachin is saying the judgment on the opening combination should come at the end of the series, not at the beginning. Does that mean these two will open in all four tests? Will I get a chance in the next series? Oh hell! Isn't this how I started the year?

This is the last in our "Dear Diary..." series, a satirical look at the year gone by. Earlier editions can be accessed on our website https://www.business-standard.com/diary