OK , I’ve been doing some domestic travelling and here’s the thing about us: we still stand too close to each other, stare too much, ask too many questions, speak too loudly, are too eager to please and don’t even get me started on our issues with queues.
Yes, post-reform, we have learnt a few things: we know how to travel smart and pack light and use wheelies like the rest of the world with its culture of self- service; because of MNCs and their relentless marketing, we are deodorised and pleasant smelling. Due to exposure to international travel and foreign media, we are aware of fashion trends and cuisines — we even know how to order at coffee bars, though we still long for our neighbourhood chai shops with their culture of service and low-level banter.
But of course we have a long way to go: we still demand too much attention from the cabin staff (being so used to round-the-clock service at the ring of a bell in our homes), we still expect our trolleys to be fetched and pushed by others and on the whole, we leave toilets pretty messy when we’re done.
And it’s not just the bada sahibs who have to shake off age-old attitudes — service providers have to understand the difference between good professional service and servile fawning: to be helpful and supportive of a passenger on the ground or in the air is one thing; to brown nose them, demean oneself or treat them as if they were gods or invalids incapable of pushing their own trolleys or holding their own boarding cards is this side of unctuous. We are famous for our warmth and hospitality, but smarmy, sycophantic behaviour does no one good.
Mercifully, we have stopped our awful habits of demanding special attention because of our connections or positions. The days of ‘do you know who I am?’ or ‘I will complain to your minister’ are more or less behind us.
But it still breaks our heart to stand in queues! I have watched the bravest of men and women trying to subvert them in all kinds of creative ways.
“I’m standing in your silly queue but if you notice I’m not actually standing in it, in fact by subtly placing myself not exactly in line behind the person in front of me, I’m showing you how little I respect the idea of this queue and what I think of it” — that’s the most common Indian queue trick, but there are others more diabolical.
There is always that devious individual who stands behind you in a queue and spends his waking moments planning how to beat you to the top of it if you so much as let your guard down for even a second.
Bend to tie your shoe laces, turn to help an old person with his cart, retrieve a crying child’s toy and boom your spot is usurped, wrested, seized. And what’s more — the person who has recently deposed you will now pretend to be deaf, dumb or speak a language unknown to man.
But these are small issues that are easily remedied when you take into consideration how we’ve graduated from travelling with our bedding rolls and tiffins on some coolie’s head.
Now if only we learnt how to leave our smelly socks at home, we could conquer the world!
Malavika Sangghvi is a Mumbai-based writer malavikasangghvi@hotmail.com
