Ya chatur bolo, ya goda bolo

This book has been written by a friend,
of many-many years on end.
He is very good at sending
people round the bend.
And have no fear that his manners he will mend
For this book is an exercise
Fully towards that nefarious end.

It is novel because it is a novel in verse,
Sometimes voluble, otherwise terse.
The publishers deserve kudos
For their machos.
Bravos, bravos, bravos.

Kiran writes as he speaks
With endearing lisps and excruciating leaks
About colleagues and other sneaks
Who comprise the IFS.

The verse is composed in a metre
Which the 13th century called the unrhymed hexameter.
It is not a genre
That survived Henre Of Avarancher.
That's not very surprising
when you read the thing.
For the verse depends
On the length of the syllable
which is so frustrating.
Or when it pleases you
A rhythmical accent.

Happily, however, I am told,
Only louts would the book quickly fold
For the literate few,
It is a real woo-woo.
So Kiran a big Thank You.
I have no idea where he
Got the idea.
If it was not Libya or Ireland,
Could it have been Austria?
For in such places he did serve
As the Indian Ambassador.
Without fear or favour
Or indeed much by way of low-brow labour.

There are four stories in all.
All make you feel quite small.
To see such talent in a diplomat,
Makes you want to doff your hat.
No wonder Kiran sings
That his pigs have wings.
Have you ever seen such a thing?
One story is about cricket,
Between India and Pakistan
Never has such an event
Been written about with such élan.

The second story is about a Nawab
Of a place called Khwab.
The third is called 'A Witches Brew"
It's the best I do tell you.

The fourth I could not quite fathom
Will Dimpy spank me on my bottom?
She'd better not,
If I lost the plot
Novels in verse are not
Quite the bon mot?

But much as I love Kiran's style,
I must mention for a while
My gripe about the book
Which will fill many a cranny or at least one nook.
Thing is, old chap,
The book may fall between two cracks.

Jealous novelists will grumble
And poets will mumble
As their reputations tumble
Who is this charlatan, they will cry,
As his toes they fry
In a vigorous fire.

But they have a point, you know,
Low can go high
But high never low,
Even when you are
on permanent furlough.

Kishore Kumar put it best when he sang
In the song from Pado-san

"Ya chatur bolo, ya goda bolo,
Yeh chatur-goda, chatur-goda
Yeh kya ji?"

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DIPLOMATIC TALES

Kiran Doshi
Tranquebar
Rs 250; Pp 263