Here’s the second in my series of suggestions on adding to the promotional fever that is currently raging around the cricket stadiums of our country. Actually these days when you watch cricket, you can’t be blamed if you believe you are watching an advertising function. Some serious thinking has gone into finding newer and more varied reasons to have commercial breaks. So you have strategic time-outs, mid-over timeouts, changing the bat/shoes/ helmet time-outs, etc.
Going forward, it should not be too difficult to imaginatively and ingeniously fix a few more reasons to shove in more ads.
Injury drama time-out
Football is replete with faking injuries. Why not let the same spill over into cricket too? In the middle of attempting a sharp single or sliding to stop a boundary, a player can dramatically clutch his thigh, calf, ankle, head (headaches are injuries too). While he’s squirming mournfully on the ground waving his hands and legs in the air, 3-4 ads can easily be slipped in.
Shirt change time out
Summer is on. It’s humid as hell. Batsmen are already allowed to change gloves. They should now also be allowed to change their shirts. It can be done ceremoniously. Cheerleaders can gather around the changing batsman to a) protect his modesty b) provide mid-field entertainment to the crowds, by feverishly prancing around. Meanwhile the poor TV viewer can have a few more ads forced down his throat.
Tap your teammate time-out
These days it has become quite a fashion to have a couple of players running up to the fielder who has just saved a certain boundary and appreciatively tap him. This gesture needs to be escalated into a full scale team tribute. The entire team (including the guys warming the bench) should be running up to the exemplary fielder and queuing up to tap-hug-kiss him. While the two batsmen in the middle yawn and share a pack of popcorn, you will have to yawn your way through detergents, mosquito-repellants and men’s fairness creams.
Toilet-break time out
It is allowed in tennis. So why not in cricket? Especially since cricketers these days face so much of…err…pressure! Every batsman should be allowed at least one toilet break during his innings. And as he sticks up a gloved little finger, it’s also a signal to dive into yet another commercial break.
Fan fever time out
The tournament is all about teams and their loyal fans. Remember the good old days when fans used to run on to the field (chased by a hapless, fat policeman) every time their idol reached a landmark? The practice can be encouraged all over again. Policemen have only gotten fatter, so the whole process can conveniently take much longer and yes, the advertisers can have yet another field day.
Cultural time-outs
These tournaments are a great opportunity to introduce overseas players to glorious traditions. So every time a team believes it is sinking, an opportunity can be given to gather in the middle of the pitch and reflect. This can be done through yoga asana, spinning the charkha or humming a bhajan. While all these activities are undoubtedly uplifting and healing, ads shown at this time may have exactly the opposite effect on your nerves.
No more time outs
Change is a way of life. If you don’t change, you perish etc. etc. And so it will be in this whole promotional saga. The day is not far off when ads and cricket will co-exist. Peacefully. Side by side. The TV screen will be divided into exactly two halves. On one side you will have uninterrupted cricket. On the other side you will see non-stop ads.
(The author is National Creative Director, Dentsu Marcom)
