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Handling conflict at work

Many of us might start believing that getting into a conflict as part of our management style would make us heard and, hence, powerful. That is a myth, says a new book

Partha Sarathi Basu
MID-CAREER CRISIS: WHY SOME SAIL THROUGH WHILE OTHERS DON'T
Author: Partha Sarathi Basu
Publisher: HarperCollins
Price: Rs 299
ISBN: 9789351364924

Many a times, I ask myself, 'Do I believe in conflict?' The answer is this: 'Yes, but it needs to be healthy and for a cause, and it should eventually be beneficial to the organisation.' In my experience, I have found that when a conflict is handled in the right spirit, it is productive.

However, at this stage of the career, many of us might start believing that getting into a. conflict as part of our management style would make us heard and, hence, powerful. Thus, for many of us, conflict becomes second nature as we deliberately decide not to accept others' opinions, suggestions or seniority. We do not allow others to communicate their point of view and often make up our mind even before we listen to others or understand them. Many a times, we meet people, attend meetings, read emails and listen to others with preconceived notions. Thus, we often take positions even without lending a ear. Such situations are needless, but we do not want to avoid them since we start believing in the myth that conflict would make us powerful.

This attitude can never be positive and would eventually be detrimental to the functioning of an organisation. Conflict for the sake of conflict leads us nowhere. We would let ourselves drift into a situation wherein we would become unproductive and spoil our image as professionals. We need to be mindful of this myth, and ensure that we act in a way that is right for the organization. We have to make sure not to get involved in continuous conflict without any reason. We need to continue to believe that corporate practices do not change because we have reached our mid-career. We still need to conduct ourselves in the same manner that we have over the past many years, since that is the acceptable corporate practice.

Talk to the hand syndrome
The next myth is about stopping to listen to others. Being able to listen is a basic quality of a leader, but many a times, even before we realize, we forget this basic requirement.

We all know that someone who listens helps others open up and share their views. This is the right way to engage with people, otherwise we will judge issues with preconceived notions. Allowing others to speak helps us get to the bottom of an issue. It helps us build an atmosphere that encourages empathy and does not demonstrate arrogance. Today's corporate world is much less Experiencing the Change 37 hierarchical, and matrix organizations are common everywhere. Thus, the need to listen is more pressing today than ever before. But then, why have we started behaving differently?

During my mid-career, I also started believing in this myth. One day, one of my senior colleagues advised me: 'Close your eyes and think of a person you regard as a leader. And you will definitely find that one of the traits in him or her is the ability to listen to you, which makes you feel he or she understands you.' He was right; leaders who appeared in my mind were definitely attentive listeners, who put the other person at ease through their words, posture and body language. For that moment, they make the other person the most important person in their life.

Re-printed with permission of the publisher. Copyright Partha Sarathi Basu 2015. All rights reserved
 
Mid-career crisis is an ailment: Partha Sarathi Basu
Partha Sarathi Basu
 
Rewrite your goals/ambitions and be ready to leave your comfort zone to tackle mid-career crisis, Partha Sarathi Basu tells Sudipto Dey

Are there any early warning signs to gauge that a professional is entering a mid-career crisis phase?

Mid-career crisis is an ailment that needs to be detected early. But the problem is, most of us do not even recognise that we are in that phase. The early signal can be a confused state of mind, or a sense of misery, and both can lead some changes in us, that leads to a crisis.

Is mid-career crisis largely a fallout of a lapse in career planning and progression?

No. At the start of our corporate journey, most of us define a goal for ourselves. Some define it as the type of person they want to become, some have materialistic objectives, and some want name and fame. There is no right or wrong goal - it's an individual's prerogative, and we have every right to define it the way we want it to be. However, as we enter our mid-career, we tend to assess our progress versus the goals we had set for ourselves. Some of us feel good about our progress, others do not.

At this stage, some achievers who have achieved the intermediate goal what they have set for themselves at the beginning of their career feel happy, but then a sense of void about "what's next" occupies their mind, and the future look opaque.

How should corporate HR departments react to deal with such professionals?

The way to tackle mid-career crisis is purely in our hands. We can seek help from HR, but at the end of the day, it is our career. In the book I have written about the five common themes about how CEOs tackled their their mid career crisis: Rewrite your goals/ ambitions in mid-career, it might have changed over time; take clear decisions; recognise your unique ability; be ready to leave your comfort zone, embrace the unknown; and finally, there is no short cut to success, and, hence, do alter the course for short term gains.

Could an entrepreneurial stint in mid-career help to get a fresh start?

At this stage, we have many questions in mind: Should I change the course of my life? Does this corporate career offer me what I deserve or should I become an entrepreneur? What is it that I can't do, but a successful entrepreneur can? Why should I work for someone else? Am I doing what I love to do the most? While they are all logical questions, they are also very difficult to answer. The problem is that most of the time, we delay answering such questions, which leads to frustration in our mind. We don't feel happy in our professional life since, in our mind, we are looking for an answer that we do not have. While our emotions tell us to go ahead, the mind starts thinking logically and weighing risks and gains, putting us in a limbo. It all depends on one's aptitude and the situation he or she is in. We need to decide for ourselves, ask ourselves some hard questions, and assess whether we are ready to leave a set pattern of life and take risks.

Do you think the nascent start-up ecosystem in India could do more to tap such experienced professionals?

I agree. Many experience professionals do tend to walk into that way, but often step back due to a sense of insecurity in mind. A start-up friendly eco system will open opportunities for many professionals.

Partha Sarathi Basu
director, finance operations, AkzoNobel

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First Published: Apr 20 2015 | 12:14 AM IST

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