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Talent, skill, education, experience - all are important. But since team spirit is also a skill, treating other people with courtesy and respect is a key ingredient in long-term professional success. Yet so many people seem to get simple acts of kindness really wrong :
They thoughtlessly waste other peoples' time
When you are late to an appointment or meeting, what you are really saying is that your time is more important. When you wait until the grocery clerk finishes ringing you up to search for your debit card, you are really saying you can't care less if others have to wait. Every time you take three minutes to fill your oversize water bottle while a line stacks up behind you, you are really saying you live in your own little world and your world is the only world that matters.
Small, irritating things, but basically no big deal? Nope. People who don't notice the small ways they inconvenience others tend to be oblivious when they do it in major ways. How you treat people when it doesn't really matter - especially when you're a leader - says a lot about you. Behave as if the people around you have more urgent needs than yours and you will never go wrong and you will definitely be liked.
They ignore people outside their 'level'
There's an older guy at the gym that weighs over 300 pounds and understandably struggles on the aerobic and weight equipment. Yet nobody talks to him. Or even seems to notice him. It's like he is invisible. Why? He doesn't fit in. Occasionally we all do it. When we visit a company we talk to the people we're supposed to talk to. When we attend a civic event we talk to the people we're supposed to talk to. Or breeze right by the technicians and talk to the guy who booked us to speak. Here's an easy rule of thumb: nod whenever you make eye contact. Or smile. Just act like people exist
They ask for way too much
A man you don't know asks you for a favour. You politely decline. He asks again. You decline again. Then he whips out the need card: "But it's really important to me. You have to. I really need [it]."
Maybe we do, in fact, really need [it]. But our needs are our problems. The world doesn't owe us anything. We aren't entitled to advice or mentoring or success. The only thing we are entitled to is what we earn. People tend to help people who first help themselves. People tend to help people who are willing to help others. And people befriend those who help others because, well, we all want more of those people in our lives.
They ignore people in genuine need
At the same time, some people aren't in a position to help themselves. They need a hand. Though I don't necessarily believe in karma, I do believe good things always come back to you in the form of feeling good about yourself. And that's reason enough to help people who find themselves on the downside of advantage.
The author is Jeff Haden, a ghostwriter and the owner of BlackBird Media. Re-printed with permission.
Link: https://www.linkedin.com /pulse/10-irritating-behaviors-make-people-kinda-hate-you-jeff-haden
