Opting for VRS? Think twice!

DOWN TIME

Reproduced below is a snatch of conversation heard on the local train between two public sector bankers, one who has taken VRS, the other debating whether to take it the next time it is offered. The information contained could be used by PSU bankers in deciding whether to opt for VRS or not.

Banker: Hullo, Sharmaji, long time no see. How's life after VRS? Ex-banker (unenthusiastically): Ok, I suppose.

Banker: Plenty of free time to do what you want, right?

Ex-banker (unsure): Ye...ess, but then we could do that in the bank as well, right?

Banker (reflectively): Never quite saw it that way. You're right, of course. Remember the time you advised me to insure my leg? Ex-banker (brightening at the memory): Yes, yes, I remember you wondered why, since none of us is a football star, why we should insure our legs?

Banker (chuckling): You told me that here we were, drawing our monthly salaries doing little more than sitting and shaking our legs. What would happen if one day we woke up and found out something had gone wrong with our legs and we couldn't shake them any more? What would the bank be paying us for?

Ex-banker (laughing): Those were the days. I remember, when I was posted at the foreign exchange branch, I was responsible for replying to all overseas telegrams. The guy next to me was responsible for replying to all the letters. Since there were far more telegrams than letters, I was scared I would have to do some unaccustomed work. You know how I got out of that one?

Banker (all agog): How?

Ex-banker: I had a stock answer to all the telegrams, "Telegram mutilated.

Please send confirmation by letter." When the letter came, it went to the guy next to me.

Banker (laughing): I remember when I was in charge of the pass book updating counter, where passbooks retained at the bank for updating are kept. Initially I used to issue paper tokens, and try and find every customer's passbook, matching it with the token. Soon I started keeping all the passbooks submitted on the same date together.

So I could ask the customer when he had submitted his passbook, and then pass him the bunch so that he could find his "" much less work for me. Later on, I decided there was no harm in putting all the passbooks on the counter and letting the customer find it. That way, I was able to finish reading "War and Peace."

Ex-banker (sighing): Yes, those were the days, my friend.

Banker: You sound depressed.

Ex-banker (uncomfortably): You see, it's like this-------I don't have any hobbies, and I've spent most of my last few years in the bank playing computer games. So after the VRS, I bought a computer, so that I could continue playing them at home. But my wife creates no end of a fuss if I sit and play games all day. It's so unreasonable.

Banker (commiserating): Strange, I'm on my 3275th card game on my computer, and nobody at the office has told me not to play.

Ex-banker (warming to the topic): Exactly. Nobody bosses you around at the bank. And you get to boss the customers around. At home, everybody bosses you around "" your wife, your kids "" and just because you don't have to go to office, they unload all their work on you. Do you know, before I retired, my wife used to buy the provisions, pay the bills, get the clothes ironed, drop the kids to school, help them with homework and all that stuff. Now she expects me to do all that.

Banker: I know how you feel. Many's the time I've left for office earlier than usual because the wife expected me to do some domestic chore. I tell her I have an important meeting.

Ex-banker: Absolutely. Why do you think I'm on this train "" I'm trying to find a new job.

Banker (shocked): In the private sector?

Ex-banker: No, no, in a co-operative bank. Life is even better than in a commercial bank there, I believe.

Banker: I've got to get down here. Best of luck, Sharmaji, and thanks for the tip. I was thinking of opting for the VRS, but you've made me realise I retired the day I joined the bank.

(This article appeared in the June 2002 issue of Indian Management magazine)