New year resolutions

GUEST COLUMN

Write my first-ever 'sell' column

Sell

Stop looking at Aban Loyd Chiles and stop saying, "If I had not sold at Rs 190 when the stock was still Rs 10 paid-up..."

Stop getting a kick about raising my voice ever subtly, saying 'tip' and waiting to see how the guy on the next table gets magnetic

Skip reading the stock quotations at least two days a week and tell myself: "Oh, I couldn't be bothered even if the exchange were to close down for the next five years"

Remember that there are families in Nandigram or wherever for whom Rs 5,000 is what Rs 5 crore is for me today

Lose weight

Believe anything can happen in the world, including a bear market

Play cricket with my son once in three months at least, then once in two months, then once a month... to at least stay familiar with spheroids and leg breaks

Interrupt the TV presenter when she calls me an 'expert on the stock market'

Go on a BlackBerry detox for at least seven days a year

Stop asking for an unabridged annual report and then looking up the salaries of the leading execs to check my 'score'

Dedicate the returns from at least two stocks to charity

Stop pretending that Reliance's earnings guidance is the most important thing in the world

Meditate

Sleep in bed at least once a month until 10 am and see what it feels like

Watch Chak De India again and fast forward to the girls winning the championship if only to hear the anthem in the background, feel pin pricks on my nose and a film over the eye

Stop applying in IPOs

Treat any writing with the words 'Based on earnings of 2009-10' as fiction

Count the number of times I use the word 'sustainable' in copies

Write cricket for a change; it is as unpredictable

Go on a dollar diet; buy rupees instead

Send a 'Thank you' card to the CEOs of all those companies where I double my money

Tell myself "it is all paper" at least once a day

Laugh

Pay for everybody's tickets on the metro line and have someone photograph their reactions

Organise a garbage collection at the point where one comes out of Kolkata Airport and onto Kazi Nazrul Islam Avenue

Promote story-telling as an art-form

Answer tele-marketers with more humour, less irritation

Have the guts to request someone to put off the cigarette

Resist to buy things that one will never use (like apartments, cars)

Remember more birthdays.

Mudar heads Trisys, India's largest annual reports consultancy. Can be reached at mudar@trisyscom.com