'The Big Bang Theory' star Melissa Rauch is pregnant and she opened about her emotional journey of becoming a mother in an emotional essay.
The 37-year-old actress, announced her pregnancy by writing an essay for Glamour Magazine and also shared how she and husband Winston are expecting a baby this fall after experiencing a miscarriage previously.
She began the essay by writing, "Here is the only statement regarding my pregnancy that doesn't make me feel like a complete fraud: Melissa is expecting her first child. She is extremely overjoyed, but if she's being honest, due to the fact that she had a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant, she's pretty much terrified at the moment that it will happen again."
The actress also revealed that due to her miscarriage, she struggled a lot with sharing the news of her pregnancy.
"The miscarriage I experienced was one of the most profound sorrows I have ever felt in my life. It kickstarted a primal depression that lingered in me. The image of our baby on the ultrasound monitor, without movement, without a heartbeat, after we had seen that same little heart healthy and flickering just two weeks prior completely blindsided us and haunts me to this day," she shared.
Adding, "All I could think about was another woman mourning over her loss as I did, worried she would never get pregnant again, and reading about my little bundle on the way. It felt a bit disingenuous to not also share the struggle it took for me to get here."
However, the 'Bronze' star feels like sharing her journey can help others going through similar problems.
"Ideally, the more we talk about this issue, the more we can chip away at the unnecessary stigma around it, with the end result being that those of us struggling with loss and infertility will feel less alone," explained Rauch.
Rauch went on to discuss her miscarriage in detail, calling it "one of the most profound sorrows" of her life, and that she felt guilty and blamed herself for it, something she partially credits to the word "miscarriage" itself.
She said, "To me, it immediately conjures up an implication that it was the woman's fault, like she somehow 'mishandled the carrying of this baby.
The acclaimed star concluded by giving a final advice to all the women who are dealing with same issues, "So, to all the women out there who are dealing with fertility issues, have gone through a miscarriage or are going through the pain of it currently, allow me to leave you with this message: You are not alone. And, it is perfectly OK to not be OK right now.
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