American actor Christy Carlson Romano has opened up about her struggles with depression and alcoholism after leaving the Disney Channel series 'Even Stevens' in 2003.
The actor, who was a part of the series from 2000-2003, says that even after 16 years she is struggling with self-destructive behaviour due to "early-onset fame."
The 35-year-old wrote an essay titled 'Christy Carlson Romano: My Private Breakdown' for 'Teen Vogue', published on Tuesday, Deadline cited it as, "I have never been perfect or pulled together as my reputation or the successes of my young adulthood might suggest."
"While many witnessed my co-star Shia LaBeouf struggle publicly, I have largely suffered in silence," she explained.
"I am not a victim, but I have never been perfect or pulled together as my reputation or the successes of my young adulthood might suggest. During a period of time in my life, I grappled with depression, drinking and more, desperate to find fixes for how I felt," she wrote.
The actor began her journey into films at a very young age but said she yearned for a normal childhood.
"I started acting at six years old, a time when most kids are just going into elementary school and learning to socialize with their peers. I learned phrases like triple threat while mastering singing, dancing, and acting lessons in an effort to be one. Until I landed my first main role on Even Stevens when I was 14 -- which relocated me to Los Angeles, away from my family on the East Coast -- I travelled the country with musical road shows and took the train into New York City from my small town in Connecticut."
Despite being famous, the actor said she lacked real friendships and instead bonded with people she met on shooting sets.
After leaving Hollywood to pursue a college degree, she still struggled to fit in.
"Even Stevens ended the summer before my start at an Ivy League school that fall. I was thrilled to enter a new world and was suddenly surrounded by so many different types of people my age; not just child stars with momagers," she wrote.
"My heart broke when I realized that I was never going to experience the teen-movie happy ending."
Romano tried resuming her career with theatre but still had to struggle a lot.
"Then I began to flirt with other methods of self-destruction. I tried to scratch my skin with my fingernail because I was too scared to use a knife. I chickened out and honestly felt like I had failed some important race to win the trophy for 'most tragic, beautiful girl.'"
The actor is now married and is a mother of two young daughters. She believes that life is much happier now.
"All that matters now is my amazing family," Romano said.
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