Sacked England batsman Kevin Pietersen says he is absolutely "devastated" on hearing the news that his hopes of returning to the national side have been dashed by England and Wales Cricket Board's (ECB) director of cricket Andrew Strauss.
Strauss on Tuesday revealed having "trust issues" with Pietersen and for that he would not be a part of the England team in the summer.
Pietersen was sacked by England in February 2014 after having repeated confrontations with teammates and the management.
"I am absolutely devastated that it looks like my hopes of an England recall have been brought to a close, especially given everything that has been said and asked of me," Pietersen wrote in a column for telegraph.co.uk on Wednesday.
"I had a meeting with Andrew Strauss and Tom Harrison (ECB's new chief executive) at a hotel in London on Monday night. Tom said, 'You have had one of England's greatest careers and we need to work together.' So, of course, I agreed to the meeting."
But Pietersen reveals it was the other way round at the meeting, saying Strauss made him know his plans of having an England outfit without him.
"Yet it now looks clear Tom knew exactly what Strauss was going to tell me. I messaged Tom after the meeting?'You talk about trust,' I said. He simply replied: 'I am sorry you feel that way, Kevin,'" he wrote.
"They have used the word trust to justify not selecting me, well, trust is a two-way thing. I couldn't believe just half an hour after I had my meeting, the result of it was on the internet and on the BBC airwaves. Now I certainly didn't tell anybody, so who did? They say they don't trust me but how can anybody trust them?"
The South Africa born batsman wrote he went into the meeting thinking he would be allowed to earn a place in the side, but says he was "misled".
"I went into the meeting expecting Strauss to say that England's batting order is good at the moment but if I continued to score runs and if an injury occurred then I would be in contention to play. I would naturally have to earn my recall, but at least I would be eligible. But (now) I feel deeply misled," he wrote.
"I'm afraid, as everyone can clearly see, this is the biggest load of rubbish. I had two phone conversations with Colin Graves (incoming ECB chairman) and he was crystal clear in saying I had to get a county, score runs and that there was a clean slate."
"He said that when he comes in as chairman he wants the best players playing for England. He told me that on the phone in two separate conversations. He also repeated it to national newspapers."
"I have done everything I can. Was I lied to by the chairman? Only he can answer that. Tom Harrison and Andrew Strauss have said on Tuesday that all three of them are united in this decision, so I don't know what to think."
The 34-year-old rejected a fat Indian Premier League (IPL) contract for county cricket in a bid to play international cricket for his adopted country.
"Nobody has called me. I have given up my IPL contract, at great expense, to play in county cricket. Surrey did not have any funds free to pay me so I said I would play for nothing, just a donation to charity, and it is horrendous to feel I have been led down the garden path. They knew all along this was a dead end for me," he said.
