Congratulations, India and Pakistan! We both won-lost the war-not-war

The official statements were clear as mud, but I figured out the technical terms

Amid legions of pooping pigeons and screeching parrots outside my window, there are now a couple of doves. They’re heavily outnumbered, and they probably endure taunts about being treacherous mammals who should just go to the other branch of the evolutionary tree, but they’re staying put. The whole thing is exactly like post-Pulwama Twitter, but with more attractive poop. 

It’s been a surreal few days. 

As you know, a couple of weeks ago the Pakistan-based Jaish-e-Mohammad terrorist group struck a convoy of CRPF soldiers in Pulwama, killing 40-odd personnel and most of our national reserves of rationality. 
 

This Tuesday we