Geetanjali Krishna: The six Pappus of Badaun

PEOPLE LIKE THEM

When Munni came to meet me last, she proudly showed me her latest offspring, a son. "What've you named him?" I asked after dutifully admiring the squalling infant. "We're waiting for his grandfather to christen him, but are calling him Pappu for now," said she. At this, my friend who was visiting from Badaun, started visibly.

"Don't call him Pappu," said she, "in Badaun, every second person is called Pappu, and it causes no end of problems!" Poor Munni was perplexed "" she didn't expect this sort of a response to her firstborn son. She left soon after, and I took my friend to task for having criticised baby Pappu for his name. In explanation, she told me this story.

Early this year, when her family decided to have their crumbling old house renovated, they hired one of the best masons in town. His name was Pappu. He suggested an excellent carpenter to do the woodwork, whose name was also Pappu.

Then they decided to also revamp the aged electrical fittings around the place. The two Pappus suggested a very good electrician. The only catch was that his name was Pappu as well. They almost didn't hire him, but then better sense prevailed. The man was good at his job, so why should they hold his name against him, they reasoned.

"Oh, and did I forget to tell you that in addition to these three Pappus, our cook, peon and gardener were also called Pappu?" said she, warming up to her story. These three Pappus, apart from sharing names, also apparently shared the same local barber who'd given all three his trademark "" a tuft standing up on the top of the head. "So they even looked similar," said she.

The comedy of errors that ensued was to be expected. When they called Pappu the mason, the electrician would reply. On one occasion, my friend explained in detail how the beading of the main door had to be done, only to have Pappu the mason scratch his head wondering how such a project can be done with bricks and mortar.

To add to the complexity, Pappu the electrician turned out to be a better carpenter than Pappu the carpenter, and so he ended up executing most of the woodwork while the original Pappu carpenter sulked on the sidelines.

When the cook called Pappu the peon in for tea, all the Pappus took advantage of their name and had a cuppa.

Halfway through the renovations, my friend and her family were as bugged as anyone could be, with all the Pappus in their lives. "One day, I asked Pappu the cook, why his parents had called him by this name," she recalled.

"My real name," he replied, "is Suresh. Pappu was my pet name when I was young, but then the name just stuck." Suddenly he had a bright idea to get out of this Pappu conundrum. "From today, if you and everyone else calls me by my real name, there will be one Pappu less!"

It was a matter of mere seconds before everyone decided that they should call all the Pappus around by their real names.

So an all-Pappu meeting was called, and they were informed of Suresh nee Pappu the cook's bright idea. The electrician and the gardener stared at him with expressions of dismay.

"Who did you call Suresh?" asked the gardener. They all pointed to the cook. "My name is Suresh too!" said he. The electrician's jaw hung loose: "mine too!" he said sheepishly, "I guess my parents didn't realise that Suresh was such a common name..."